Tag: Premature Ejaculation

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation History

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

Sexual histories recorded from prematurely ejaculating males have a consistently familiar pattern. Variations on the basic theme arc are reflected by the man’s age and, in some instances, the circumstance in which his initial sexual adventures were experienced. For the premature ejaculator now in the over 40 age group, the history of first coital experience is usually that of prostitute exposure.

In the days of the prostitution houses, prior to the advent of the call-girl era, the accepted pattern of prostitute function involved satisfying the male sexual tensions as rapidly as possible. Indeed the more rapid the customer turnover, the higher the financial return.

25 to 45 Years Ago

When the neophyte first gathered his courage to follow socio-cultural demand that he “prove his manhood,” he was subjected, often unexpectedly, to the frequent prostitute insistence that he complete the act as soon as possible. The sooner the male would mount and the faster he could ejaculate, the more pleased the prostitute.

It took only two or three such house visits (frequently just the initial visit was sufficient) to establish the young man’s commitment to self-centered expression of sexual-need with its resultant physical pattern of rapid intromission and quick ejaculation.

As the inexperienced male became conditioned to this pattern of sexual functioning, a life-time of rapid ejaculatory response might be established.

As the years passed and with them the “houses,” the young male’s first sexual opportunities with girls in his peer group frequently took place in the back seats of cars, lovers’-lane parking spots, drive-in movies, or brief visits to the by-the-hour motels.

Intercourse was established in these semi-private situations under the pressures inherent in dual concern for surprise or observation resulted in both coital and ejaculatory processes encouraged toward rapid completion. In these situations there usually is as little male concern for the female partner’s sexual release as there was for that of her professional counterpart in previous years.

Thus a pattern of rapid completion of the male sexual cycle is established by socio cultural demand, and again it only takes two or three such pressured exposures for potential conditioning of the young male to a pattern of premature ejaculation.

Teenage Sex

Yet another technique of teenage sex play encountered in the background of the premature ejaculator is frequently recorded in the histories of young men during their early years of sexual encounter.

In this situation teenagers pet extensively and then the male mounts in a male superior position, clothes relatively in place, and pantomimes intercourse without any attempt at vaginal penetration until he is stimulated to ejaculation by the friction engendered by this pseudocoital process.

This sex-play technique does preserve virginity and above all else does protect against unwanted pregnancy. Yet, young men repeatedly enjoying this form of premarital sex play are exposed to premature ejaculatory patterning, because value is given pre-eminently to accomplishing male sex-tension release as rapidly as possible with the full cooperation of the female partner.

Of course, thought seldom is given to the sex tensions that develop in these young women serving as ejaculatory release mechanisms.

Another procedure that is popular with both married and unmarried groups is the withdrawal technique during coital connection. With this approach sex play terminates in active coital connection, but the man withdraws as he reaches the stage of ejaculatory inevitability and ejaculates outside the vagina.

With this release pattern there is no necessity for the man to learn ejaculatory control.

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation Help

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

When the male is approached pelvically, stimulative techniques are best conducted with the wife’s back placed against the headboard of her bed (possibly supported with pillows), her legs spread, and with the husband resting on his back, his head directed toward the foot of the bed, with his pelvis placed between her legs, his legs over hers, so that she may have free access to his genital organs.

In this particular position the wife, responding to therapeutic direction with the full understanding of the male performance fears involved, should approach her husband directly to encourage penile erection. As soon as full erection is achieved, the “squeeze technique” is employed.

The concept of a direct approach to the premature ejaculator’s pelvic organs in an attempt to teach control was first introduced by James Semans.

The “squeeze technique” develops when the female partner’s thumb is placed on the frenulum, located on the inferior (ventral) surface of the circumcised penis, and the first and second fingers are placed on the

superior (dorsal) surface of the penis in a position immediately adjacent to one another on either side of the coronal ridge.

Pressure is applied by squeezing the thumb and first two fingers together for an elapsed time of 3 to 4 seconds. If the man is uncircumcised, the coronal ridge still can be palpated and the first and second fingers correctly positioned. An approximation of frenulum positioning must be estimated for thumb placement.

In either event, using an artificial model, cotherapists should make sure that the anatomical orientation so necessary to effective use of this technique is absolutely clear to both husband and wife. If there is any residual confusion on the wife’s part as to the anatomical specifics of the squeeze technique and ejaculatory control does not develop, professional explanation and direction is presumed at fault.

Rather strong pressure is indicated in order to achieve the required results with the squeeze technique. As the man responds to sufficient pressure applied in the manner described, he will immediately lose his urge to ejaculate.

He may also lose 10 to 30 percent of his full erection. The wife should allow an interval of 15 to 30 seconds after releasing the applied pressure to the coronal ridge area of the penis and then return to active penile stimulation.

Again when full erection is achieved the squeeze technique is reinstituted. Alternating between periods of specifically applied pressure and reconstitution of sexually stimulative techniques, a period of 15 to 20 minutes of sex play may be experienced without a male ejaculatory episode, something unknown to the couple in prior sexual performance.

Ejaculatory Urge

There may be some wifely apprehension as to the amount of pressure that may safely be applied to the penis without eliciting physical distress from her husband. The amount of pressure necessary to depress a man’s ejaculatory urge would be somewhat painful if the penis were in a flaccid state, but causes no similar level of discomfort when the penis is erect.

If the wife still expresses concern over application of pressure, the husband should place his fingers over hers and apply sufficient pressure through her fingers to guide her to the required result.

Showing his wife the degree of pressure that can be applied without resultant physical distress relieves her concern for his welfare and in turn improves the unit’s level of non verbal communication. As stated, pressure should be applied with the squeeze technique for a period of no more than 3 to 4 seconds.

If a positive clinical result is to be returned, it will be apparent in the loss of the husband’s ejaculatory urge within this brief period of time.

Sexual Excitement

Experience suggests that the male be brought to a low level of sexual excitement and depressed from his incipient ejaculatory urge with the squeeze technique four or five times during the first training session. Aside from obvious control improvement, the greatest return from use of the squeeze technique is improved communication both at verbal and nonverbal levels for the couple.

At first the wife applies pressure at her husband’s direction, but soon his levels of sexual excitation become obvious to her, and she learns to apply the squeeze technique by observing his reactions to sexual stimuli.

Obviously the basic therapeutic concept involved in the squeeze technique is to enable the premature ejaculator to establish objectively a state of sexual excitation that he not only can identify but also can maintain indefinitely without ejaculation. He must be able to delay voluntarily that level of sexual excitation from which he cannot withdraw, the stage of ejaculatory inevitability.

For Most Premature Ejaculators

Prior to experiencing physical response to the squeeze technique, any significant level of sexual stimulation usually has resulted in a quick leap toward ejaculatory inevitability. Once in the first stage of orgasmic experience, a man cannot be diverted or stopped from a total ejaculatory response.

As the result of the first day’s exposure to the squeeze technique, the husband’s fears for ejaculatory control and the wife’s for her husband’s inadequate sexual performance will be somewhat abated.

Following the typical “healthy skepticism” concepts of the therapy program, husband and wife, while employing the squeeze technique, demonstrate for each other that complete cooperation, under proper therapeutic direction, can establish ejaculatory control.

This self-demonstration of ejaculatory control markedly improves unit confidence and certainly is a major step toward re-establishing communication and terminating the cold war between the marital antagonists.

Establishing security of response relative to the squeeze technique is but the first step in a therapeutic progression that moves from onset of successful ejaculatory control under manipulative influence to a controlled coital process. Usually two or three days of husband and wife cooperation are necessary to establish full ejaculatory control with the squeeze technique under manipulative conditions. The next step in progression of ejaculatory control involves non demanding intromission.

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation Frustration

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

The uninformed wife’s reaction to a husband with an established problem of premature ejaculation also is relatively type-cast. During the first months or years of the marriage the usual response is one of tolerance, understanding, or sympathy, with soft-voiced expressions of confidence that the problem will be overcome with patience, love, and mutual cooperation.

With due passage of time and with her husband’s rapid ejaculatory tendency not only continuing, but frequently becoming worse, the wife’s sexual frustrations rise to the surface. She verbalizes her distress by accusing her husband of just using her as an object for sexual release; in short, of being selfish, irresponsible, or simply of having no interest in or feeling for her as an individual.

These wifely complaints are legion, couched in individually self-expressive terms but reflecting in general rebellion at being used sexually rather than loved sexually. The “just being used” is the part most difficult for wives to accept.

Although they complaint of premature ejaculation have been referred to the clinic after as brief an interval as one year of marriage, generally this particular syndrome is not presented for therapeutic reversal until after five to twenty years of marriage. Usually the problem is ignored or tolerated by the wife until children are born.

With distractions provided by the demands of the new family, the prematurely ejaculating husband is accepted. But once a family of desirable size has been achieved, and the youngest has reached some level of independence, the wife’s sexual frustrations, enhanced by her increasing psychosocial freedom as the children mature, reach the breaking-point.

She spotlights the problem by insisting on professional guidance for herself, demanding that her husband seek professional help, enjoying sexual release provided by another partner, male or female, or any combination of these three potentials.

In General

Psychotherapeutic support for the wife of a premature ejaculator is palliative at best. There is no way to alleviate the main source of irritation when dealing professionally with her sexual problems in a one-to-one method of psychotherapy. Nor has psychotherapy directed specifically toward the problem of premature ejaculation been particularly successful, because there has not been widespread professional knowledge of clinical techniques available to teach ejaculatory control.

At Best

The wife, by seeking other coital partners, can only double her levels of frustration, if she realizes comparatively through successful sexual experience with other men the inadequacies of her own husband’s sexual performance. Conversely, she may find herself unresponsive in extramarital coition, possibly from feelings of guilt or from conditioned repression of her own sexual responses through years of contending with her husband’s rapid ejaculatory pattern. Many women have sought psychosexual release in homosexual experience under these circumstances.

Before acknowledging loss of all hope of successful sexual functioning, the members, of the couple individually or together try any number of physical dodges to avoid the usual rapid ejaculatory termination of their sexual exposures. The most consistently employed homemade remedy is the “don’t touch” treatment. The husband requests that his wife not approach his genital area during their precoital play.

Instead, both partners concentrate their attention on stimulating the female partner almost to the point of orgasm.

Of course, there is concomitant male stimulation coming from observation of his wife’s obvious “pleasure response” to his sexually stimulative approaches. Finally, if and when the wife attains a high level of sexual stimulation, there is an episode of hurried penile penetration with the husband vainly trying to distract himself from the sexually stimulating experience of intromission.

Sexual Distress
Various procedures for distraction are employed by the anxious husband. He fantasies such non sexual material as work at the office, an unbalanced family budget, an argument with a neighbour, a fishing trip, counting backward from one hundred, etc.

When the fantasy material has been proved ineffectual, the next step is to initiate some form of physical distress. The husband may bite his lip, contract the rectal sphincter, pinch himself, pull his hair, or use any other means of physical distraction.

All techniques, subjective or objective, are designed, of course, to enhance ejaculatory control by reducing the level of the sensate input during the coital process.

The wife meanwhile is thrusting frantically in a vain attempt to achieve orgasmic release before her partner ejaculates. The rapid transition from the mutually agreed upon “don’t touch” approach in precoital play to a rushed mounting episode and immediate contention with a demanding, thrusting, highly excited woman usually provides sufficiently forceful stimuli to initiate ejaculation before the wife possibly can obtain sexual release.

Premature Ejaculator Frustration
When all distraction techniques fail, the warmth of the couple’s interpersonal relationship slowly ebbs away. As the wife’s level of cold personal disinterest reflecting her sexual frustration increases, and denunciations (verbal or silent) of her husband’s sexual dysfunction continue, the next step taken by the now anxious, self-effacing husband, “the man who just can’t get the job done,” is one of slow but definite withdrawal from the unit’s established frequency of sexual contact.

Usually this action is temporarily acceptable to his frustrated wife. His withdrawal from sexual exposure continues despite the fact that the one thing the premature ejaculator cannot tolerate and still maintain any semblance of control is increasing periods of sexual continence.

He frequently sleeps on the sofa or in another room; she visits her family and stays longer than planned, or simply refuses sexual contact for increasing periods of time.

The longer the periods of continence, regardless of source, the more rapid and severe the husband’s ejaculatory response on those rare occasions when sexual contact is permitted.

Granted that the premature ejaculator may exhibit little significant control at the usual once or twice-a-week rate of exposure, yet he certainly will have no control at all when the coital exposures are reduced to once, twice, or thrice a month.

Sexual Confidence
Over a period of years with no obvious improvement in her husband’s sexual performance, the wife loses confidence in her partner’s consideration for or appreciation of her as an individual, and concomitantly some degree of confidence in herself as a woman.

Sexual Demands
For effective sexual performance are continuously verbalized or acted out by the female partner over an extended period, the complication of erective inadequacy may appear. The husband, questioning his own sexual prowess time and again, abetted in this frightful concern by his wife’s specific verbal derogation of his masculinity, frequently is enveloped by anticipatory fears of performance whenever sexual expression is imminent.

Fears of performance
Combined with techniques for avoiding direct penile stimulation during precoital play and his wife’s obvious disinterest in active sexual functioning, not only make the man increasingly conscious of his inadequacies of sexual performance but also raise psychologically crippling questions as to his very maleness.

In short, all these factors plus his fantasy patterns of trying to distract himself from subjective pleasure during active sexual functioning finally place the man in the spectator role in his own marital bed. There is a slow transition from the role of physical self-distraction during coition to that of a fear-ridden spectator at his own sexual performance.

Thus, the husband assumes the psychological stature of a secondarily impotent male with all of the well-established concerns for sexual performance and the constant retreat to a spectator role. Time and time again premature ejaculators of many years standing not only lose confidence in their own sexual performance but also, unable to respond positively while questioning their own masculinity, terminate their sexual functioning with secondary impotence.

This stage of functional involution is, of course, the crowning blow to husband and wife as individuals and usually to the marital relationship.

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation & Sex

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

The male is encouraged to lie flat on his back and the female to mount in a superior position, her knees placed approximately at his nipple line and parallel to his trunk.

The nearer the two individuals are to the same height, the nearer the woman’s knees should be placed to the nipple line. If the wife has the shorter trunk, she should place herself somewhat below the nipple line. If the wife has the longer trunk, her knees should be just above the nipple line.

Female Superior Position

Leaning over her mate at a 45-degree angle, she is comfortably able to insert the penis and then to move back on, rather than sit down on the penile shaft.

After bringing:
The penis to full erection and employing the squeeze technique two or three times for his control orientation

The wife then should mount in this specifically described superior position. Once mounted, she should concentrate on retaining the penis intravaginally in a motionless manner, providing no further stimulation for her husband by thrusting pelvically.

Her physical restraint enables the husband to become acquainted with the sensation of intravaginal containment in a non demanding, therefore non threatening, and environment. No longer does he respond to the subconscious concept that his wife is ready to force his ejaculatory process to an unhappily rapid conclusion by overt physical expression of her own sexual desire.

For the established premature ejaculator the ultimate of sexual stimulation occurs with the mounting opportunity and during the first few seconds of intravaginal containment. If the man with inadequate control has not ejaculated prior to intravaginal penetration he will do so in short order, once penile containment has been accomplished, when there is any suggestion of active pelvic thrusting on his wife’s part.

When his wife cooperates fully in the superior coital position and in the sexually non demanding fashion of penile containment described above, she enables her husband to concentrate on the concepts of ejaculatory control elicited by the squeeze technique and additionally to become accustomed to the stimulative effect of intravaginal containment.

During the husband’s level of sexual excitation threatens to escape his still shaky control, he should immediately communicate this increased sexual tension to his wife. She then can elevate from the penile shaft, apply the squeeze technique in the previously practiced manner for 3 or 4 seconds, and reinsert the penis, again providing full vaginal containment without the added stimulus of pelvic thrusting.

The specifically described female-superior coital position makes pelvic elevation from the penile shaft physically easy for her so that the squeeze technique can be applied rapidly to the proper area of the penis, if threatened loss of ejaculatory control develops.

In subsequent days, with some degree of performance reliability established for penile containment in the female-superior position, the husband is encouraged to provide just sufficient pelvic thrusting to maintain his erection. Again the wife is requested to maintain the specifically fixed superior position without active pelvic thrusting.

If man and woman lie together with the penis in intravaginal containment without either partner providing some degree of pelvic thrusting, the man will tend to lose his erection after a short period of time, just as the woman will note marked reduction in the rate of lubrication production.

This physiological evidence of reduction in sexual tension is:

Due to the fact that both marital partners become distracted by any long continued state of sexual inactivity, losing focus on the sensate pleasure inherent in the principle of quiet vaginal containment.

It should be emphasized to the couple that success in ejaculatory control in the female superior position is but another psycho physiological step toward effective coital functioning in any desired coital positioning. It is an important psychological step in providing further relief for both husband’s and wife’s fears of performance.

With a “healthy skepticism” attitude encouraged by authority, both members of the couple develop insight into the fact that they are accomplishing their own “cure.” Through their physical cooperation and increasingly effective verbal and nonverbal communication, ejaculatory control is developing.

Proof positive of improved control develops by the second or third day’s exposure to the female-superior coital position in that 15 to 20 minutes of intravaginal containment without untoward ejaculatory demand is a relatively routine accomplishment.

Yet another important factor coming into focus at this stage in the development of the husband’s voluntary ejaculatory control is the cooperative wife’s level of sexual responsivity. Indeed many women married to premature ejaculators have never been orgasmic in the marriage, and most of those women that have been orgasmic in the marriage have obtained this release through manipulative or oral-genital techniques rather than coital opportunity.

Intercourse in married couples attention obviously has been focused upon the male partner for the first few days of the therapeutic program, yet the wife may have experienced an elevation of sexual tension far superior to levels she might have anticipated. There are many reasons for this sex tension increment, the most prominent of which should be considered in some detail.

First
During the sensate-focus phase of the therapy, there is mutual “pleasuring”. Usually her levels of sexual responsivity elevate rapidly under these most advantageous conditions. There is physical closeness and holding, development or redevelopment of communication, and markedly increased warmth of understanding between husband and wife.

Many of the misconceptions, fallacies, or even the taboos relating to the couple’s prior sexual interaction have been faced, examined, explained in depth, and, to a major degree, reversed or mutually accepted during daily interviews with the cotherapists. There is no environment more conducive to marked elevation in the levels of female sexual response than that occasioned by the concept that something is happening of a positive nature to reduce or eliminate the couple’s sexual dysfunction.

As both husband and wife cooperate in the pleasuring opportunity, the increasing warmth of their interpersonal relationship is a hopeful support for the emotionally insecure woman that .the wife of a premature ejaculator usually becomes after years of sexual frustration.

Second
During manipulative phase of the squeeze technique there concomitantly is further increase in the level of female sexual tension. When the wife provides controlled play for her husband and observes both the physical pleasure she provides and his obvious delight in progress toward ejaculatory control, these reactions are reflected as positive and highly stimulative biophysical and psychosocial influences. In short order the wife finds herself highly excited sexually and strongly motivated toward orgasmic release.

Third
Although the wife is instructed to avoid pelvic thrusting, the initial period of intravaginal penile containment provides her with the simultaneous opportunity to feel and think sexually, not infrequently for the first time in her marriage. The sensate pleasures of non demanding penile containment have not been available to her in view of the couple’s basic sexual dysfunction.

When there has been sufficient ejaculatory control to accomplish penetration, the actual act of physical connection usually has been followed immediately by the wife’s straining demand for tension release. Alternatively, if past sexual patterning has forced her to lie quietly after penetration in the vain hope of avoiding forcing her husband to ejaculation, the entire psycho sexual experience of coital connection has been focused on his battle for ejaculatory control rather than on providing her with any expression of freedom to enjoy personal sexual responsivity.

Contending with a husband fighting a constant battle for ejaculatory control not only engenders severe sexual frustration for the wife but also over the years produces in her a distinctively negative attitude toward sexual expression.

Fourth
When in the female-superior coital position with intravaginal containment of the penis and even with controlled restriction of pelvic movement, the wife has been directed simply to feel and think sexually and to enjoy the sensation of vaginal distention. Following these suggestions, the proprioceptive pressures created by intravaginal containment of the erect penis are subjectively anticipated and appreciated. The wife gains almost as much from this stage in the exercise of ejaculatory control as does her husband.

Thus, the combination of subjective relief of fear for her husband’s inadequacy of sexual performance plus the opportunity to feel, think, and relate sexually are enormously stimulating to the female partner. As her partner’s control increases, female pelvic thrusting can be encouraged, initially in a slow, non demanding manner, but soon with full freedom of expression. Once sexual tensions, built from both freedom for biophysical-system response and growing confidence in the psychosocial elements of the unit’s interpersonal relationships, are released to be enjoyed at will, orgasmic expression becomes a natural potential.

Final Phase
In the voluntary development of ejaculatory control is entered as the couple is encouraged to convert the female-superior position to that of the lateral coital position. In the lateral coital position there is a maximum opportunity for male ejaculatory control. As the husband’s sexual tensions elevate, he can withhold active pelvic thrusting yet provide a full controlled erection with which his wife can continue to express her own sexual demands and against which she can relieve her sexual tensions.

In the lateral coital position the woman uniquely has complete freedom of pelvic movement in any direction. There is no pelvic or chest pinning, or cramping of leg or arm muscles. She can respond to her own tension demands as she sees fit, confident that this coital position provides her husband not only with high levels of subjective sexual pleasure but also with the best possible physical opportunity for ejaculatory control.

After becoming secure in the multiple protection the position affords and in the anatomies of leg and arm arrangement, most couples employ lateral coital positioning by choice in at least 75 percent of their coital opportunities.

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

From a clinical point of view it is extremely difficult to define the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Most definitions refer specifically to the duration of intravaginal containment of the penis. For teaching purposes a genitourinary service in a medical centre has described a premature ejaculator as a man who cannot control his ejaculatory process for at least the first 30 seconds after penetration. In similar vein a hospital psychiatric service has described the premature ejaculator as a man who cannot repress his ejaculatory demand for one full minute of intravaginal containment.

More realistically, a definition of premature ejaculation should reflect socio cultural orientation together with consideration of the prevailing requirements of sexual partners rather than an arbitrarily specific period of time.

30 to 60 seconds of intravaginal containment is quite sufficient to satisfy a woman.

If she has been highly excited during precoital sex play and is fully ready for orgasmic release with the initial thrusts of the penis. However, during most coital opportunity, the same woman may require variably longer periods of penile containment before attaining full release of sexual tension.

While readily admitting the inadequacies of the definition, the clinic considers a man a premature ejaculator if he cannot control his ejaculatory process for a sufficient length of time during intravaginal containment to satisfy his partner in at least 50 percent of their coital connections. If the female partner is persistently non orgasmie for reasons other than rapidity of the male’s ejaculatory process, there is no validity to the definition. At least this definition does move away from the “stopwatch” concept.

The male’s level of concern for an uncontrolled ejaculatory pattern and the concomitant depth of his female partner’s sexual frustrations tend to increase in direct parallel to the degree of their formal education.

For instance:
grade-school or early high school dropouts rarely request relief from premature ejaculation. In this socio cultural setting the man generally dominates the pattern of sexual function within the couple, and his sexual satisfaction is the major concern.

Rapidity of ejaculation is not considered a sexual hazard, and in fact may provide welcome relief for the woman accepting and fulfilling a role as a sexual object without exposure to or personal belief in the concept of parity between the sexes in the privileges and the pleasures of sexual functioning.

Rapid release from sexual service frequently is accepted as a blessing by women living in the restrictive levels of this subculture’s inherent double standard. Of course these women are free to enjoy orgasmic expression if it develops, but neither partner usually considers it the man’s responsibility to aid or abet woman’s sexual responsivity. (It should be noted that clinic and clinical studies have been extremely limited in material of cross-cultural or racial significance.)

The complainee in the couple contending with an established pattern of premature ejaculation usually is the female partner. If the male ejaculates regularly during premounting sex play or during attempts at mounting, or even with the first few penile thrusts after intravaginal containment, there rarely is opportunity for effective female sexual expression.

Time and again women’s sexual tensions are elevated by precoital sex play, further edged by the additional stimulation of the penetration process, only to be confronted with almost instantaneous ejaculation and subsequent loss of penile erection. There is a high level of female frustration, particularly when this male response pattern is repeated routinely lime after time.

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Penis Health

Ejaculation Incompetence

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

The process of Ejaculation
Have you ever wonders how the whitish or cloudy fluid shoots out from the penis? Well, not all of us attended biology class, right? Here’s simply how; the sperm is produced by the testes, once formed, it will move into the epididymis and keep store until sexual activity. Only when the penis is stimulated during sexual activity, the process of ejaculation starts to take place (imagine as if you’re engaging the gear of your vehicle…)

Emission is the first stage and it is the contraction of the epididymis, vas deferens, seminal vesicles, and prostate that let the seminal fluid enter the urethra. The penis excited and aroused, with the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles, produces the orgasm and is ready to ‘erupt’! Coincidentally, the second stage of ejaculation is the eruption of the semen out of the urethra.

After the orgasm and volcanic eruption of the penis, the erection usually returned to its flaccid state. The penis went into rest and reproduction period. Hence, is difficult to have another erection or ejaculation again in a short time.

Premature Ejaculation
It is extremely difficult to define the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Most definitions refer specifically to the duration of intra-vaginal containment of the penis or a man who cannot control his ejaculatory process for at least the first 3 seconds after penetration. In 1981, the Hite Report on Male Sexuality was based on a survey of over 7000 men and found that 2% of these men ejaculated within 60 seconds of penetration. While another 62% ejaculated within 5 minutes. Only one in six men lasted for over five minutes after penetration, and only one in ten lasted over ten minutes. The report also showed that there is no difference between races, circumcised men and non-circumcised men.

Most men say that they would like to sustain their erection long enough to satisfy their partner. More than 30% of men suffer severe premature ejaculation and almost all men will occasionally ejaculate very quickly. Any man who says it has never occurred to him is probably either a virgin or a liar.

What causes Premature Ejaculation

Physical
Some men thought it is a question of ‘time’, but rather it should be a question of ‘control’. The big head should be controlling the small head rather than the other way around. Premature ejaculation has a physical and a psychological cause. The physical cause has to do with the nerve supply to the skin of the penis. These nerves are very sensitive. If this sensitivity is too great, very little contact is needed to bring on ejaculation. This sensitivity can actually be measured by using a machine called a biosthesiometer. This machine gives off very small vibrations that can be measured in amplitude. If your penis can pick up very low amplitude vibrations, then the penis is regarded as being highly sensitive.

On the contrary, 3 to 60 seconds of intra-vaginal containment is quite sufficient to satisfy a woman, if she has been highly excited during sex play and is fully ready for orgasmic release with the initial thrusts of the penis. However, during most coital opportunity, the same woman may require variably longer periods of penile containment before attaining full release of sexual tension.

Psychological
In the majority of men with premature ejaculation, the origin is psychological. It most happened during the first sexual encounter. An enormous pressure to perform is placed on the shoulders of a poor young man who is about to embark on his first important task. Before he knew it, ejaculation has occurred. At times, he is not in the right place and time.

This feeling of inadequacy to perform will hover around him for a while. Subsequent experiences are marred by the memory of this humiliating failure. This self-imposed pressure of performance gets greater every time he faces sex. With the repeatable bad experiences, the more he thinks about it the worse it gets. Before he knows it, it has become a permanent problem in his lovemaking. This may lead to feeling inadequate, inferior, and frustrated. Some men go their whole lives never really experiencing control of their ejaculation.

The complainant usually the partner instead of showing concern, rolls her eyes up in disappointment. If the male ejaculates regularly during mounting sex play or during attempts at mounting or even with the first few thrusts, there rarely is opportunity for effective female sexual expression. Time and again women’s sexual tensions are elevated by fore play or sex play, further aroused by the additional stimulation of the penetration process, only to be confronted with almost instantaneous ejaculation and subsequent loss of penile erection. This will result in high level of female frustration. Particularly when this male response pattern is repeated routinely time after time.

Some men have premature ejaculation and were fortunate enough to have sex. Subsequently after ejaculation, they could sometimes pretend nothing had happened. That is, after ejaculating, the thrusting still continues until the partner looked satisfied or until next possible ejaculation again.

Premature Ejaculation is Good at times

Rapidity of ejaculation is not considered a sexual hazard, in fact it may provide welcome relief for the woman accepting and fulfilling a role as a sexual object without exposure to or personal belief in the concept of parity between the sexes in the privileges and the pleasures of sexual functioning. Rapid release from sexual service frequently is accepted as a blessing by women living in the restrictive levels of this sub-culture’s inherent double standard.

Ejaculation Incompetence in Aging Male

The Aging Effect
The alteration of sexual patterning is probably the most important psycho physiological in midlife especially 50 to 70 year period. It is also the male’s loss of high levels of ejaculatory demand. So many men in the older age groups consider them old fart and are too old to function sexually, yet cannot explain how they have arrived at this conclusion.

As age rises, he not only enjoys an unexpected increase in ejaculatory control but also at the same time has a definite reduction in ejaculatory demand. Example, if a 60 plus years old man has intercourse on an average of once or twice a week, his own specific drive to ejaculate might be of major moment every second or third time there is coital connection. This level of innate demand does not imply that the man cannot or does not ejaculate more frequently. He can force himself or be forced by the partner to ejaculate more frequently, but if left to resolve his own individual demand level he may find that an ejaculatory experience every second or third coital connection is completely satisfying personally. Explicitly his own subjective level of ejaculatory demand does not keep pace with the frequency of his physiological ability to achieve an erection or to maintain this erection with full pleasure on an indefinite basis.

This reduction of ejaculatory demand for the aging male is the entire basis for effective prolongation of sexual functioning in the aging population. If an aging man does not ejaculate, he can return to erection rapidly after prior loss of erective security through distraction or female satiation.

The older man can easily achieve and sustain an erection if there is no ejaculatory threat in the immediate offing. The unreformed partner poses an ejaculatory threat. She believes that she has not accomplished her purpose unless her sex partner ejaculates. How many women in our culture feel they have fulfilled the feminine role if their partner has not ejaculated? Whether he likes it or needs it, she must be a good sexual partner–“We all know man needs to ejaculate every time he has intercourse”–so goes the phrase.

If the male is confident on his own sexual demand schedule and to have intercourse as it fits both sexual partners’ interest levels. An average but reasonably healthy couple will be capable of performing sex even at the age of 80 year!

MASTURBATION COMBAT PREMATURE EJACULATION & EJACULATION INCOMPETENCE

The best results from this treatment are achieved when the exercises are done with a partner working with you and supporting your efforts. However, this treatment can be also being accomplished on your own without a partner. It can be done even if you are not yet in a relationship. This last approach is important because many men avoid forming a sexual relationship because of this problem. The treatments are divided into masturbation exercises and exercises with intercourse. Masturbation exercises Ninety-seven per cent of men masturbate. What most men are unaware of is that the way that they masturbate may have a dramatic effect on the way they perform sexually.

Points to ponder: “Where do you think is the most sensitive part of your body when you’re masturbating?” Your answer might be the glans of your penis, or knob or tip of the penis, is regarded as being the most sensitive part while masturbating, right?

Well, not exactly true. Some men felt the most sensitive parts of their body while masturbating are the ears. How true this is? Masturbation is an activity that boys and men choose to do privately. It is not a subject for open discussion though it may be a daily routine during teenage. It serves as a release for sexual fantasies. However, society frowns on this activity for reasons hard to understand, so it is imperative that one is not caught in the act. This is a cause for anxiety.

As you get older, masturbation is important as a sexual release. The quicker this release can be achieved, the less chance there is of being caught. This may result in the development or a mindset of rapid ejaculation that is difficult to change. Unfortunately, this mindset may cause rapid ejaculation at the first opportunity for intercourse. We are not prepared or trained in controlling ejaculation.

These exercises should be practiced two to three times a week. If you don’t have the privacy you need, the bath or the shower may be the best option. While performing these exercises, don’t fantasize and don’t use erotic magazines or videos. The basic idea is to keep a good firm erection for 5 to 10 minutes without ejaculating. Here are the steps:

  1. Start by masturbating slower than usual.
  2. While masturbating, focus on the sexual sensations that you are getting and concentrate on the sensations in your penis as your sexual arousal increases.
  3. If your excitement level rises close to the point of no return that is ejaculation is about to blow, STOP.
  4. Rest for a few seconds and let the excitement level fall again.
Categories
Knowing Woman Sexuality

Sexual Dysfunction

orgasm, pain at orgasm, myth, sexual, dysfunction

The most common dysfunctions treated by sex therapists are:

    • Anorgasmia: The women has never, or only rarely, reached orgasm.
    • Delayed Ejaculation: The man can act sexually though seldom, if ever, climaxes in his partner’s presence.
    • Erectile Insecurity: Also called impotence, the condition is marked by difficulty in either getting or staying erect.
    • Inhibited Sexual Desire: A form of sexual apathy marked by infrequent sex, and a lack of thoughts and anticipation of sex.
    • Premature Ejaculation: The man climaxes more rapidly than he or his partner wishes, sometimes before intercourse begins.
    • Vaginismus: The woman desires sex, but her vaginal muscles contract involuntarily, preventing penetration.
    • Inappropriate Arousal: Being aroused by that which a culture deems inappropriate: children, animals, objects.

Most sex therapists find that when a couple finally summon the nerve to seek help, the problem is usually in an advanced stage, and can no longer be ignored, or endured. In nearly all cases, both partners need to be treated together.

The female problems such as anorgasmia and vaginismus are rare and psychological in origin. If mild, they can be solved by the woman herself with a vibrator. If severe, visit a sex therapist without delay. Male problems of ejaculatory control respond to self therapy and professional help. An erection problem can be the first sign of pre-diabetes, and the man should be tested for this promptly.

Inhibited Sexual Desire (ISD) appears to be a modern complaint amongst modern couples. Sex therapists say that it is by far the nation’s most common sexual dysfunction. For what are usually complex reasons, often including a past sexual problem, one or both partners have lost all desire for erotic intimacy.

Yet ISD is a philosophical concept, not a biological one. When and how often people wish to make love is a subjective issue. At its best, erotic love is an exquisitely sensitive bloom. Even when nurtured with the utmost love and tenderness, it can wax and wane, like the cycles of the moon.

It seems a very modern concept to regard the genitals as a set of engine parts which should be working. And that if one of these parts slows down or stops functioning, it should be taken to the auto body shop, and fixed. This mechanical way of perceiving what can be a most delicate interaction probably suits mechanical thinkers.