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Treat Orgasm

How to Last Longer in Bed

Pro tips for a stronger, better orgasm and prevent premature ejaculation suggestion

You may have tried a few ways to for better sex but the more you try to last longer in bed, the faster you finish. Don’t worry cause you’re not alone. “Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” says Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington. 

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Treat Orgasm

Sexual Pleasure

When conceptually she has a penis to play with, usually the woman will do just that. If she will allow the vaginally contained penis to stimulate slowly and feelingly, in the same manner, she enjoyed sensate pleasure from manual body stroking or the manipulation of her genital organs under her controlled directions, she will find herself overwhelmed with sexual feeling.

As vaginal sensation increases for the woman and confidence in ejaculatory control develops for the man, penile-containment episodes progress in a more confident vein. The teasing technique of mounting, dismounting, and remounting is extremely valuable as a means of female sex-tension increment.

There are several clinical pitfalls to be avoided under careful co-therapist direction as the marital unit is moved from phase to phase of increasing sexual responsivity by day-by-day consideration and direction.

  1. the cooperating male partner must be manipulated to ejaculation with a regularity at least approximating that described during the interrogation periods on day one or two as his concept of ideal ejaculatory frequency. This concern for regularity of release of cooperative male partners’ sexual tensions is but turn-about application of the principles of sex-tension relief, directed toward regularity of orgasmic release for the cooperative wife of the premature ejaculator.
  2. there must be regularly recurring vacations from the physical expression of sexual functioning. At least every fourth day is declared a holiday from physical sexual expression. However, the daily conferences between marital partners and the co-therapists continue at a seven-day-a-week pace. Through the two week period during which the distressed marital unit is following the Foundation program. There is so much material that must be presented, evaluated, and restated when the unit’s marital relationship is explored in depth that daily conferences are a regular part of the treatment format. When the wife’s physical progress is obvious, the partners are infinitely more willing to look at their particular contributions or lack of them to the marital relationship. As they improve the climate of the marriage, inevitably they are contributing a vital ingredient to the woman’s psychosocial structuring. This structure, in turn, positively influences the accrual of her sexual tensions. There is yet another factor of sex-tension increment derived from daily living with the subject by the marital partners. Presuming strategically placed vacations from overt sexual function, there is tremendous tension increment in the continuity of sexual expression, if orgasmic or ejaculatory levels of tension are restricted by frequency control.Once confidence in the female superior coital position has been established, with the woman enjoying the sensate pleasure of pelvic play with the intravaginally contained penis, the marital unit is directed to convert the female-superior position to a lateral coital position.

Effective Sexual Performance

With husband and wife mounted in a female superior position, there may be some difficulty in converting to a lateral coital position without first practicing the maneuver.

Initially, practice should take place without intromission if the conversion is to be accomplished smoothly, but the functional return for both sexual partners certainly is well worth the effort expended in the learning process.

The lateral coital position is reported as the most effective coital position available to men and women, presuming there is an established marital-unit interest in mutual effectiveness of sexual performance.

As described in premature ejaculation, when a facility in lateral coital positioning has been obtained, there is no pinning of either the male or female partner. There is mutual freedom of pelvic movement in lateral coital position in any direction, and there will be no cramping of muscles or necessity for tiring support of body weight.

The lateral coital position provides both sexes flexibility for free sexual expression. This position particularly is effective for the woman, as she can move with full freedom to enjoy either slow or rapid pelvic thrusting, depending upon current levels of sexual tensions.

In this coital position, the male can best establish and maintain ejaculatory control.

In order to convert from the female superior to a lateral coital position, there are several successive steps to be taken. The husband with his left hand should elevate his wife’s right leg while moving his leg under hers so that his left leg (now outside of her right leg) is extended from his trunk at about a 45-degree angle.

The wife simultaneously should extend her right leg (the one that is being elevated) so that positionally she is now supporting her weight on her left knee with the right leg extended, instead of being on her knees as in the female-superior position.

As she makes these adjustments, she should lean forward to parallel her trunk to that of her husband. Then the male clasps his partner with his left arm under her shoulders, his hand placed in the middle of her back, and his right hand on her buttocks, holding the two pelves together.

The two partners then should roll to his left (her right) while still maintaining intravaginal containment of the penis.

Once the partners have moved into the lateral positioning, the two trunks should be separated at roughly a 30-degree angle.

The male rolls back from his left side to rest on his back. The female remains relatively on her stomach and chest with minimal elevation of her left side and her head turned toward her husband. Pillows should be placed beneath both heads for comfort and to provide support for the woman’s slightly angled position.

Occasionally there is value in a supportive pillow placed along her right side. The only weight that must be supported is that of the wife’s right thigh, which rests upon the husband’s left thigh. His left thigh is supported by the bed, so there is no problem with long-continued weight support.

The concern for arm placement is resolved if the woman’s right arm is circled under her pillow and the husband’s left arm (in the same fashion) moves under her pillow beneath her shoulders or underneath her neck.

This leaves the woman’s left arm and hand and the husband’s right arm and hand for mutual play and body caressing. The female accomplishes leverage for pelvic thrusting by pulling up her extended right leg slightly so that her knee comes to rest on the bed. Her left leg should be cast over her husband’s right hip with the knee resting comfortably on the bed.

The two knees provide her with all the traction she needs for pelvic thrusting whenever sex-tension demands for any form of thrusting develop.

In view of the physical complexity of changes in position, usually it is suggested that man and wife try converting the simulated female superior mounting position to the lateral position at least two or three times before establishing coital connection and then attempting conversion from superior to lateral positions.

The trial runs usually begin in a humorous vein; yet with functional seriousness husband and wife easily can work out the problems of comfortable arms and legs placement and rapidly accomplish facility with the position-conversion technique. Again, the lateral coital position is the most effective coital position from mutuality of shared male and female freedom of sexual experimentation.

The potential return is well worth the effort of the marital unit involved in learning to convert from the female-superior positioning. One of the more realistic goals this form of therapy may suggest to the non orgasmic woman relates to self-reorientation which tends to improve or helps to insure maximum interdigitation of the dual-system basis of effective sexual function theorized in the topic of therapy and orgasmic dysfunction.

The goal seeks to create or encourage the best possible climate in which each system (biophysical and psychosocial) can function.

Attainment of this climax first is dependent upon self-knowledge. A sexually dysfunctional woman can be therapeutically assisted to identify and develop understanding of her own psycho-social needs (the psychosocial system of sexual function).

She also can be educated to take advantage of her naturally occurring, maximum levels of sexual drive (the biophysical system of sexual function). Much can be derived from the exchange of information among the non orgasmic woman, her husband, and the cotherapists, to help her define her actual physical awareness of sexual desire.

This specific awareness of sexual need is relied upon by most sexually effective women, although not necessarily at an actively conscious level. The dysfunctional woman’s husband has a definitive contributing role in helping to develop her sense of freedom and grace in the spontaneous expression of her sexual feelings.

The husband’s role is vital to success in the treatment of orgasmic dysfunction. His attitudinal approach is the most important contributing factor (positively or negatively) to therapeutic procedure.

If he is totally cooperative, interested, supportive, and identifies quietly and warmly with his wife as she lives through the strain of the interpretive look in the mirror provided by the cotherapists, her chances of orgasmic attainment are significantly increased.

If the husband’s attitude is one of hostility, indifference, impatience, or even regimented cooperation, the chances of failure in treatment are correspondingly increased. It is not sufficient to be simply a cooperative partner.

There must be the opportunity for the beleagured wife to identify with her husband. She must be able to feel the warmth of his interest in her as an individual and as a woman, to count on him for emotional support and, above all, to feel him as much a’ partner in concern and as vitally interested in reversing her dysfunction as she is in accomplishing full expression as a woman.

Under authoritative control many women can and do break through the shell created by a husband’s indifference and ultimately develop a pattern of orgasmic release. Many more fail.

For discussion purposes, the immediate failure rates for both primary and situational orgasmic dysfunction are included as followed. A detailed presentation of failure rates and five-year follow-up of treated patients is presented in Program Statistics.

The failure rate in reversal of the presenting complaint of orgasmic dysfunction in the two week rapid-treatment program is 19.3 percent. There is little difference between the failure rates returned in treating the primarily or situationally non orgasmic woman. The one category that obviously needs significant improvement of the therapeutic approach is that of random orgasmic inadequacy (37. 5 percent).

Orgasm Experience

Infrequent or rare orgasmic return with both masturbatory and coital experience has defied the Foundation’s current therapeutic approaches. In some cases there were detrimental interpersonal relationships that could not be altered successfully.

In others there was no evidence of inherent levels of sexual tension either presently or historically described. In the majority of situations, however, the cotherapists did not find an answer to resolve the problem of random orgasmic inadequacy.

Were the failure rate in this category improved to parallel that of other categories of orgasmic inadequacy, there would be no statistical significance in reported return between the failure rates in treatment of primary or situational orgasmic dysfunction.

The close approximation of failure rates in the two arbitrary clinical divisions of woman’s non orgasmic status supports the concept of uniformity of treatment approach, regardless of whether the woman has ever had previous orgasmic experience.

An overview of female sexual dysfunction commonly reveals a stalemate in the sociosexual adaptive process at the point at which a woman’s desire for sexual expression crashes into a personal fear or conviction that her role as a sexual entity is without the unique contribution of herself as an individual.

For some reason, her permission to function as a sexual being or her confidence in herself as a functional sexual entity has been impaired. The stalemate may be derived from negation of her own sexual identity or from the attitudes and circumstances of marital interaction.

The influence may emanate from her partner’s unwitting or deliberate contribution to her loss of personal and sexual self-esteem; or it may emerge on signal from her earlier imprinted, conditioned, and experientially created sexual value system.

The blocking of receptivity to sexual stimuli is an unfortunate result of factors which deprive her of the capacity to value the sexual component of her personality or prevent her from placing its value within the context of her life.

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Treat Orgasm

Sexual Intercourse Technique

Sexual Intercourse

Probably the most effective technique is that of the teasing approach of light-touch moving at random from the breasts to the abdomen to the thighs to the labia to the thighs and back to the abdomen and breasts without concentrating specifically on pelvic manipulation early in the stimulative episode.

Particularly should direct approach to the clitoral area be avoided initially in this process. This “exercise” becomes even more effective as a means of female sex-tension increment, when interlaced with sensate-focus, stroking techniques introduced after roundtable discussion.

The male partner must be careful not to inject any personal demand for sexual performance into his female partner’s pattern of response.

The husband must not set goals for his wife.

He must not try to force responsivity.

His role is that of accommodation, warmth, understanding, and holding, but he should not be so pacific that his own sexual pleasure is negated for either himself or his partner.

Through total cooperation he allows his wife to drift with sensate pleasure and provides her with sensual stimulation without forcing her to contend with an accompanying sense of goal oriented demand to respond to a forcing form of manipulation.

The cotherapists must make it quite clear to the husband that orgasmic release is not the focus of this sexual interaction.

Manipulation of breast, pelvis, and other body areas varying from the lightest touch to an increase in pressure only at partner direction, should provide the wife with the opportunity to express her sexual responsivity freely, but without any concept of demand for an endpoint (orgasmic) goal. It must be emphasized that the effectiveness of a stimulative session is not lost to the woman simply because the session is terminated without orgasmic experience.

There is a tremendous accrual of sexual facility and interest for any woman when she knows that there will be a repeat opportunity for further sexual expression in the immediate future.

Sexual Stimulative Effects

Thus, the husband’s light, teasing, non demanding approach to touch and manipulation allows the female partner full freedom to express her interests, her demands, her sexual tensions. This sequence of opportunities permits accumulation of stimulative effects which will provide the source of her ultimate release of maximum sex-tension increment at some future point.

All specific exercises aimed toward the wife’s fulfillment of her orgasmic capacity always are introduced by direction of the cotherapists on the basis of marital-unit report. When husband and wife describe the fact that previous directions have produced a positive return of stimulative pleasure, their next level of sexual involvement is approached.

This treatment concept means, of course, that a steady progression of exercises does not necessarily take place on daily schedule. For instance, marital partners who never have verbally shared sexual reactions or expressed sexual preferences to each other usually take longer to appreciate a positive level of sexual-tension return than less restrained, more communicative husbands and wives.

Another example of delayed reactive potential centers upon marital units that have coped with functional distress for extended periods of time. These husbands and wives usually require longer to adapt to and become comfortable with their revised patterns of sexual behavior than those whose sexual dysfunction has been relatively brief.

It has been further observed that successful marital-unit adaptation to a state of sexual dysfunction, in itself a possible indication of individual and marital-unit strengths, may present a higher level of inherent resistance to reversal of the stated inadequacy than more dissident, fragmented marital relationships.

Cotherapists must constantly bear in mind during the rapid-treatment program that the authoritative introduction of specific exercises represents a deliberate breakdown of woman’s sexual responsivity into its natural components. Each exercise is introduced singly and continued until appreciated. All exercises are accrued one after another in a natural building process until they have been reassembled into the whole of an established sexual response pattern.

The directive pattern, in which each item is repeated as a new one is added in each successive verse until all items are assembled. Therefore, the marital unit must be reminded quietly each time a new direction for specific sexual activity is introduced that this introduction of new material is not an indication that previous exercises and their concomitant pleasures must be relinquished in order to enjoy the new experience.

Rather, as each new psycho physiological concept is provided for marital partner assimilation, older exercises are constantly restated until the whole reactive process is assembled.

At this point, marital partners frequently may have acquired a gavotte-like approach to sexual expression when employing the directive suggestions rather than spontaneously incorporating each new physical approach or stimulative concept into their own style or pattern of behavior.

The marital couple will need reminding that on a long-range basis there is little return from clocking each component of the therapeutic pattern for a specific length of time or introducing each new exercise into their sexual interaction in a purely mechanical manner, solely because it has been suggested by impersonal authority rather than mutually evolved.

Emphasis should be placed upon the fact that there is marked individual variation in the time span in which each area of sensory perception is appreciated. Mood, level of need, quality of partner involvement, etc., all vary widely, frequently on a day-to-day basis.

There will be occasions when spontaneous non specific or even a sexual social interaction will replace all the “touch and feeling” (foreplay) that have been so enjoyable and so necessary at other times.

Whenever exercises in sensate focus, especially those using specifically positioned opportunities have initiated newfound levels of stimulative appreciation for the non orgasmic woman, the appropriately sequential step is suggested for unit exploration during their next phase of sexual interaction.

It is essential to successful therapy to emphasize again and again the concept that sexual response can neither be programmed nor made to happen. The marital unit also must be encouraged continually to create an environment that fulfills the stimulative (bio-physical and psychosocial) requirements of each partner and in which sex-tension increment can occur without any concept of performance demand.

Each successive phase of physical approach is introduced subsequent to establishing some evidence of encompassing psychosensual pleasure as perceived by the non orgasmic woman during a prior episode.

These phases develop in sequence from the first day’s sensory exploration which takes place following the roundtable discussion. If there is obvious female pleasure in the first sensate experience, the next phase includes specific manipulative approach to genital excitation, using, if possible, the positioning.

If the first day’s exercise in sensate pleasure has not developed a positive experience for the non orgasmic woman, the second day will again be devoted to these primary touch-and-feeling episodes, instead of moving into the genital manipulative episodes usually scheduled for Day two.

Genital manipulative episodes are continued until there is obvious evidence of elevated female sex tension, before moving on to the next phase in the psychosensory progression.

Subsequent to reported success in manual genital excitation, the marital, partners are asked to try the female-superior coital position, by which means the wife may translate previously established levels of sensate pleasure into an experience which includes the sensation of penile containment.

The specific intercourse techniques of this position have been discussed and illustrated as Female superior mounting is but another step in the gradual development of sexual awareness leading from simple, sensate focus to effective response in coital connection.

The husband is asked to assume a supine position in anticipation of his wife’s superior mounting. Intromission is to take place when both partners have reached the level of sexual interchange, full erection for the man and well-established lubrication for the woman that suggests the desire for further physical expression.

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