Author: The Beauty Nation

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Impotence Cure

Stimulate sex

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Sexual input can be blocked by any negative influence in the psychosocial system that distracts the male. If there has been a recent quarrel and his antagonistic wife plays a passive role in their next sexual encounter, evincing no pleasure from her husband’s sexual approach, he receives no projection of her sensual interest, and therefore half his input of sexual stimuli will be blocked.

There is little sexual return for the husband or wife who feels as if he or she were approaching a wooden Indian when attempting to excite a partner sexually.

The impotent male also denies himself potential biophysical input if, as his wife approaches him with manual or orally stimulative activity, he casts himself, in the spectator role.

As he mentally stands in the corner observing her activity, impersonally watching and waiting to see if a full erection can be attained, he obviously is blocking a major degree of the sensate input created by her direct stimulative approaches.

The Same Principle Applies

If he assumes the spectator role while approaching his wife in a stimulative manner. If he “pleasures” his wife with physical skill while remaining aloof and uninvolved as an impersonal spectator, waiting to approve of any degree of erective response resulting from her obvious sensual pleasure, he again blocks the psychosocial input created by her pleasure state.

It is important to emphasize, however, that an impotent man should never attempt to give pleasure to his wife with only the concept of receiving pleasurable stimuli from her in return.

He must give of himself to his wife primarily for her pleasure, and then must allow himself to be lost in the warmth and depth of her response, and in so doing divest himself of his impersonal spectator’s role. In brief, if a man is to get the essence of a woman’s sensual warmth, he must give of himself to her. This concept has been dubbed the “give-to-get” principle.

When the male loses himself in the giving, the female’s sensate return will be reflected by positive interdigitation of his biophysical and psychosocial influences, and the erection he has tried time and again to force will develop freely when least expected.

The husband and wife is assured that no attempt ever will be made to teach a husband to achieve an erection. Emphasis is placed on the fact that erective attainment is a natural physiological process and that every man is born with the facility to erect when responding to a definitive set of biophysical and psychosocial influences.

Production of vaginal lubrication

A descriptive parallel is employed for members of the couple by suggesting to the husband that the wife’s facility for vaginal lubrication follows the same natural initiative mechanism as does erective attainment.

She cannot will, wish, or demand the production of vaginal lubrication. However, she can relax, approach her husband and be approached by him, allowing input of sensate focus from both sources while she concentrates only on the sensual pleasure arising from the mutuality of their sexual expression.

When any woman achieves this state of involvement, lubrication develops spontaneously.

In many instances it helps to point out to the husband that exactly the same anatomical tissues, the same blood supply, and the same nerve supply that are involved in penile erection for the male produce vaginal lubrication for the female.

Full penile erection is, for the male, obvious physiological evidence of a psychological demand for intromission.

In exact parallel, full vaginal lubrication for the female is obvious physiological evidence of a psychological invitation for penetration. In a comparison of male and female sexual function, it always should be emphasized that in sexual response it is the similarities of, not the differences between, the sexes that therapists find remarkable.

The Foundation has taken the position that the secret of successful therapy is not to treat the symptoms of impotence at all.

Instead, methodology consists of a direct therapeutic approach to causation. The husband and wife combines to contribute the necessary ingredients, for when approaching problems of impotence, whether primary or secondary, symptoms are not treated as they are obviated by successfully treating the marital relationship.

The marital state is under therapy at the Foundation. Never are the impotent husbands or the directly involved and frequently non orgasmic wife considered separately as patients and never as non responsive, pathological entities separate from the marital union.

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Impotence Cure

Sexual Dysfunction in Husband & Wife

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Of course, most wives would not consider public discussion of the sexual inadequacy in their marriages. For a variety of reasons, they choose to keep their own counsel.

They may feel that their husband’s dysfunction has origin in, or at least is magnified by, their own lack of physical appeal, or that they forced this inadequacy by their lack of competence of sexual functioning.

Most women identify completely with and suffer for, their husbands in sexual inadequacy. They feel warmth and sympathy and understand the psychosocial trauma created by his obvious failure in the marriage bed.

For a variety of reasons then, most women would not consider discussing their husband’s sexual dysfunction even with their closest friend.

But most women, whether they accuse publicly or support privately, do not comprehend the degree to which they have directly influenced their husband’s sexual inadequacy.

There is no such entity as an uninvolved partner in a marriage contending with any form of sexual inadequacy.

Sexual Dysfunction is A Couple’s Problem

not a husband’s or wife’s problem.

Therefore, husband and wife should be treated simultaneously when symptoms of impotence distress the husband and wife. The Foundation will not treat a husband for impotence or a wife for non-orgasmic return as single entities.

If not accompanied by his wife, the impotent husband is not accepted in therapy. Both marital partners have not only contributed to but are totally immersed in, the clinical distress by the time any unit is seen in therapy.

How best to treat clinical impotence? The first tenet in therapy is to avoid the expected, direct clinical approach to the symptoms of erective inadequacy.

The secret of successful therapy (for this dysfunction):
is not to treat the symptoms of impotence at all, for to do so means attempting to train or educate the male to attain a satisfactory erection, and places the therapist at exactly the same psychological disadvantage as that of the impotent male trying to will an erection.

Therapists cannot supplant or improve on a natural process and achievement and maintenance of penile erection is a natural process.

The major therapeutic contribution involves convincing the emotionally distraught male that he does not have to be taught, to establish an erection. He cannot be taught to achieve an erection any more than he can be taught to breathe.

Erections develop just as involuntarily and with just as little effort as breathing. This is the salient therapeutic fact the disturbed man must learn. No man can will an erection.

Every impotent man has to negate or neutralize a number of psychosocial influences which have helped to create his sexual dysfunction if he is to achieve erective effectiveness.

However, the prevalent roadblock is one of fear. Fear can prevent erections just as fear can increase the respiratory rate or lead to diarrhea or vomiting.

At the onset of therapy, the impotent man’s fears of performance and his resultant spectator’s role are described specifically by the co-therapists and must be accepted in totality by the distressed male if reversal of the sexual dysfunction is to be accomplished.

Every impotent male is only too cognizant of his fears of performance, and, once the point is emphasized, he also is completely aware of the involuntary spectator role he plays during the coital attempt.

The Three Primary Goals in Treating Impotence Are:

  1. remove the man’s fears for sexual performance
  2. to reorient involuntary behavioral patterning so that he becomes an active participant, far removed from his accustomed spectator’s role.
  3. to relieve the wife’s fears for her husband’s sexual performance.

Whenever any individual evaluates his sexual performance or that of his partner during an active sexual encounter, he is removing sex from its natural context. And this, of course, is the all-important factor in both onset of and reversal of sexual inadequacy.

Penis flaccidity
With any form of sexual dysfunction, sex is removed from its natural context. The man watching carefully to see whether he is to achieve erection sweats and strains to will that erection.

The more the male strains the more distracted he becomes and the less input of sensual pleasures he receives from his partner; therefore, the more entrenched the continued state of penile flaccidity.

Sexual Tension

In a natural cycle of sexual response, there is input to any sexually involved individual from two sources.

As an example, presume an interested husband approaching his receptive wife. There are two principal sources of his sexual excitation. The first is developed as the husband approaches his wife sexually, stimulating her to high levels of sexual tension.

Her biophysical response to his stimulative approach (her pleasure factor), usually expressed by means of nonverbal communication, is highly exciting to the male partner. While pleasing his wife and noting the signs of her physical excitation (increased muscle tone, rapid breathing, flushed face, abundance of vaginal lubrication), he usually develops an erection and does so without any direct physical approach from his wife.

In this situation, he is giving himself to his wife and getting a high level of sexual excitation from her in return.

The second source of male stimulation develops as the wife approaches her husband with direct physical contact.

Regardless of the technique employed, his wife’s direct approach to his body generally, and the pelvic area specifically, is sexually exciting and usually productive of an erection.

When stimuli from both sources are combined by mutuality of sexual play, the natural effect is the rapid elevation of sexual tension resulting in a full, demanding erection.

Often men move into a pattern of erective failure because they do not experience sensate input from both sides of the give-to-get cycle. Loss of supportive sexual excitation frequently develops not because wives are unavailable or uninterested but because one or both of the basic modes of input of sexual stimuli is blocked.

Categories
Impotence Cure

Penis Manipulation

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When erections recur spontaneously, the wife is encouraged to place herself in the superior coital position, with her knees at or below his nipple line, before her sex play is directed toward penile manipulation.

When the wife is comfortable in this position, penile play should be initiated.

This position also allows the husband full access to the breasts. When or if a full erection is obtained, the wife may mount, but, intromission should be attempted in a non demanding manner.

No hurry to mount, no rush to obtain sexual tension release should be permitted. When she is attempting penile insertion, the penis should be angled at approximately 45 degrees from the perpendicular and directed cephalad (toward the head).

When mounting, the wife is encouraged to move back on the shaft of the penis rather than to sit down on it.

Sexual Tension

There should never be any question as to the mechanics of penile insertion.

Penis Insertion

The woman always should control the insertive process. Many men have been distracted from a partial or even a full erection by bumbling, fumbling, vain attempts to describe the vaginal orifice in the process of penile insertion.

The male usually is not sure anatomically where the penis goes and, during frantic moments of searching and finding, his opportunity for distraction is patently obvious.

Every woman knows exactly where the penis goes. Additionally, she is indeed sexually stimulated by the opportunity to assist actively in the act of intromission.

Just quietly relieving the impotent male of the responsibility for penile insertion removes yet another distractive roadblock from his vitally necessary level of sensate input.

Anything that can or does distract him will dull, dilute, or destroy his levels of sexual tension.

With the wife already posed in the proper position during the preliminary sex play, she can accomplish intravaginal containment with facility and grace. Even during the insertive process, she should continue active manual manipulation of the penile shaft.

Hard Penis

Positioning herself correctly ahead of time again avoids a distraction. Many males attain an erection with sex play but lose security of penile rigidity when attempting intromission. The actual mounting process is distracting to the impotent male.

Both his wife’s stimulation of the penis and his stimulation of her pelvic organs usually cease. He then moves to assume a male-superior position, hunts for the vaginal outlet, and finally attempts intromission.

Since all this takes time, and mutual sexual stimulation stops, the husband loses his sense of continuity. Consequently, any man following this reactive pattern may lose the fullness if not the total of his erection in the process.

The concerned male has only to notice the slightest loss of erective fullness and he panics, distracting himself completely in a spectator role and, of course, immediately loses the rest of his erective security.

Obviously, the concept underlying the use of this mounting technique is to remove inherent male distractions and to let the sensual pleasure developed from mutual sexual stimulation take control so that the tense male will not react in his usual pattern of performance fears or spectator role.

This experience is repeated several times until erective security develops.

This coital teasing technique is comparable to that of attaining, losing, and then returning to full penile erection with manual manipulation. Any male must have a series of obviously successful intromissions if he ever is to lose permanently his concerns for performance.

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Impotence Cure

Maintain Erection

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Once the husband and wife can mount with security, another specific male fear of performance will surface. Impotent men having achieved intromission successfully still have not satisfied their performance fears.

They immediately question whether the penis will retain sufficient rigidity for continuation of effective coital connection. These specific fears are easily obviated by once again contraindicating performance.

It is authoritatively suggested first that the female move slowly up and down on the shaft of the penis, which she can do with facility in the described positioning. She is to move backward and forward rather than sit down on the penis.

Regardless of her high levels of sexual demand, the wife should concentrate only on the concept of penile containment, without moving into the demanding type of pelvic thrusting that may have been her pattern in the past whenever opportunity presented.

Understandably, in past patterning, she has tried to take advantage of whatever degree of erection was available in attempting to satisfy her own sexual needs.

The cotherapists must explain before exposure to any coital opportunity that a demanding pattern of female pelvic thrusting is indeed threatening to any man with erective insecurity.

Sustain Erection

Demanding female participation in coital connection is immediately distracting to the impotent male, for his performance fears come flooding back.

Obvious female demand demonstrated at this time is devastating to maintenance of erection.

The husband fears that he will not be able to sustain an erection quality sufficient to satisfy his sexual partner. He worries about his response instead of enjoying the sensual pleasures of the moment.

His distraction leads to some loss of erection security.

Erection Anxiety

Once conscious of loss of any degree of the erection, the impotent man panics, forgetting immediately that by his own actions as a phantom spectator, he distracts himself from sensate input.

When he succumbs to this response pattern, the penis becomes flaccid in seconds, to the utter frustration of both sexual partners.

Both partners must learn that there is no time demand inherent in this female mounting technique. If the erection is satisfactory, intromission proceeds; if not, play is continued without pressure until a satisfactory erection does develop.

If erection does not develop
During a comfortable period of time with mutual play, there is never to be an attempt to force the issue. When by authoritative edict there is to be no forcing of the issue, erection usually is secured without difficulty.

After the wife has taken her turn at the sensate pleasure of feeling and thinking sexually while moving pelvically in a slow, non demanding manner on the penile shaft, it is suggested that she in turn remain quiet, and the husband is encouraged to thrust slowly, concentrating on the sensate pleasures to be derived from the feelings of vaginal constriction and warmth of containment, and the sensations engendered by his wife’s lubrication.

Foreplay and Fondle

His concept in participating in the slow pelvic thrusting should be one of giving and receiving sensate pleasure just as though he were stroking his wife’s back, rubbing her neck, or running his fingers through her hair.

In this warm way he is distracted from concerns of performance, and the biophysical and psychosocial stimulative input of sensate pleasure is encouraged. The sensual stimuli from his vaginal containment get through to him in a non-demanding manner.

His observation of his wife’s free, non demanding, coital cooperation frees him from any concept of pressuring from her and allows him to avail himself of the pleasure of her sensual response to his slow thrusting pattern.

With her specific coital positioning, he simultaneously can enjoy breast play and vaginal containment. Once he indulges himself in his sexual opportunities, the overwhelming sensual input tends to distract from any previous patterning of performance concern or spectator role. Again, he is not performing.

He is consciously pleasuring and being pleasured by intravaginal containment in a totally none demanding, yet warmly pleasant and sexually satisfying fashion.

On subsequent days both partners are encouraged to move to simultaneous pelvic pleasuring, feeling, thinking, and concentrating only on the sensations involved in this mutuality of their sexual stimulation.

There must not be concern for satisfying the wife or forcing ejaculation by the husband. When these end points of sexual functioning occur during coition, they should be by happenstance, involuntarily, naturally, and mutually rewarding, but never by direction.

Categories
Impotence Cure

Impotent Remedy

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Erective incompetence occasionally develops from physical causes at various stages in the life cycle. Anything from extremely low thyroid function in the third decade to a perineal prostatectomy in the sixth decade can and does result in secondary impotence.

But these obviously are pathological, not “natural,” causes. “Natural” is used in terms of usual or routine or to be expected from birth.

Impotence may not be a naturally occurring phenomenon, but susceptibility to combinations of etiological factors can push any man so far from his natural cycle of sexual response that he develops fears for effective functioning.

In turn, these fears can distract from or even obviate the possibility of a full erective response to any form of sexual stimulation.

Concepts of treatment for symptoms of primary and secondary impotence are so basically identical that the following discussion can be applied without reservation to either syndrome.

Concepts of treatment for symptoms of primary and secondary impotence are so basically identical that the following discussion can be applied without reservation to either syndrome.

Whenever an impotent man commits himself to therapy for sexual dysfunction, he does so with far more personal insecurity than the usual degree of trepidation seen in most new patients.

He approaches constituted authority with full conviction that nothing can be done to reverse his distress, yet he fantasies himself as a sexually effective male.

The impotent man is certain that he stands alone in his sexual inadequacy, that there rarely, if ever, has been a situation so involved, so frustrating, and so hopeless.

Frequently, he has begun to view his marital partner as a major liability. He is all too aware that she is fully knowledgeable of the dimensions of his sexual inadequacy and therefore of the degree of his presumed loss of masculinity.

Knowledge of his sexual inadequacy by anyone else is indeed threatening to sexual assurance for many men.

Impotent Psychological Confidence

For some men, this knowledge on the part of the wife also constitutes a threat to social confidence. Husbands are gravely concerned that wives will discuss the sexual inadequacy at the bridge table or the coffee klatch and, sadly enough, some wives do just that.

Unable to contend with their own severe levels of personal and sexual frustration, they find release in suggesting subtly or pointing out graphically that the men they have married are sexually incompetent.

Wives traumatize their sexually dysfunctional husbands just as husbands slight their sexually dysfunctional wives for a variety of reasons in addition to those of frustration or revenge.

Wives must find an explanation for their own lack of effective sexual functioning, but, above all, they seek reassurance that the state of sexual inadequacy in the marriage exists despite their every effort to resolve the difficulty and that it is not their fault.

The fact that the psychosocial aspects of the marriage are not progressing satisfactorily usually is painfully obvious to all reasonably close observers. But to take the humiliating step of public accusation is indeed almost unforgivable.

Inevitably this adds to the level of psychosocial trauma the man must bear. It further separates the marital partners from any hope of mutual support and certainly closes any remaining lines of communication.

The difficulties in the therapeutic reversal of the sexual dysfunction are thereby increased and, as a consequence, the percentage of positive return from any therapeutic procedure is reduced. For all these reasons, either partner’s discussion of marital-unit sexual dysfunction other than with selected authority is potentially destructive.

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Impotence Cure

Impotent in Marriage

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A word must be said for the cooperative wives of sexually inadequate husbands. They may arrive in therapy frustrated, resentful, bitter, revengeful, or still devoted to this man of their choice.

Regardless of the manner in which they approach therapy, once they have assured themselves that every effort is being made to treat the marital relationship; not just the sexually inadequate male, the full cooperation of more than 90 percent of the wives seen by Foundation personnel has made the vital difference between success and failure in therapy.

Wives cooperation
The wives’ depth of cooperation with therapeutic suggestions is engendered primarily by the participation of the female member of the therapy team. When wives realize they always have available as a cotherapist not only a friend but also an interpreter, their willingness to cooperate usually is excellent.

They realize they are working with their husbands for their marriage. Specific directions as to handling the psyche of her husband, her place in the scheme of therapy, and, above all, her role in a sexually functional marriage come from the female cotherapist, usually in individual sessions.

Impotence Research

The overall results obtained from attempting symptom reversal of primarily and secondarily impotent men referred to the Foundation are far from satisfactory.

The best statistical measure of the clinical results is the rate of failures.

Although the results obtained represent significant improvement over previously published material, the failure rates are still far too high. There has been improvement as work has progressed, but there is still a long way to go before there can be professional satisfaction with clinical progress.

It should be emphasized once more that etiological influence usually was multiple in origin, and that category assignment has been merely on the basis of professional decision as to the major influence among the multiple etiological forces.

For example
The predinical diabetes is but one of several etiological factors influencing the 11 men so listed.

Brief survey:
Indicates a 40.6 percent failure rate in the treatment of primary impotence during two weeks of intensive educational process. There is hope for continuing improvement if we state additionally that there were 9 failures in the treatment of the first 16 cases and 4 failures in treating the last 16 cases of primary impotence over the last 11 years. The downward trend certainly should continue in this failure rate.

There was a 26.2 percent failure rate recorded in the two weeks’ attempt to reverse the symptoms of secondary impotence over the 11 years in the Foundation.

Unfortunately, there has been no significant reduction in the failure rate as experience has accrued.

Of course these statistics represent only the percentage failure of symptom removal during the acute phase of treatment. Any treatment termed successful by this measure has little clinical value unless the symptom reversal proves to be permanent.

Therefore, while failure rates in the acute-treatment phase are of obvious import, consideration of any corresponding success rate must be held in abeyance until at least five years after termination of the acute phase of therapy.

The influences:
Religious orthodoxy and homosexual orientation represent the two areas of ideological influence associated with the highest level of treatment failure in primary and secondary impotence.

There was a 66.6 percent immediate failure to reverse symptoms of primarily impotent men, and a 50 percent failure to reverse symptoms of secondarily impotent men influenced by religious orthodoxy.

No other category approaches this in treatment failure. The nearest approach is provided by those men with an etiological background of homosexuality, usually adolescent in onset.

Here 33.3 percent of the primarily impotent men and exactly the same figure of secondarily impotent men failed to respond positively to the two weeks’ intensive-treatment program. It is in these two areas that so much more work needs to be done.

Currently there is an inexcusably high level of failure rate in therapeutic return for patients handicapped by either of these two specific etiological influences.

It must always be borne in mind that it is the individual man’s susceptibility to etiological influences that determines whether he is to survive as a sexually functional male or is to fall into a pattern of inadequate sexual responsivity. Of the factors initiating or controlling this innate susceptibility we know so little.

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Impotence Cure

Impotence Cure

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Impotence is not a naturally occurring phenomenon. Yet there are men who never experience intromission regardless of available coital opportunity; they have been identified as primarily impotent.

There are men, having succeeded in coital opportunity on single or multiple occasions, who develop erective inadequacy and ultimately cannot achieve or maintain an erection quality sufficient for intromission regardless of opportunity. They have been termed secondarily impotent.

But are there naturally impotent men, men born without the slightest facility for effective sexual function?

The answer must be a hesitant yes, but they are encountered so rarely as to be of no statistical significance.

There is a rare male never able to have intercourse for anatomical or physiological reasons.

For example:
Men born with endocrine dysfunction, such as Klinefelter’s syndrome, may never be able to achieve sufficient steroid balance to develop an effective erection. These genetic misfortunes do occur, but with adequate knowledge and control some of their untoward clinical sequelae, such as impotence, may be reversed.

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Impotence Cure

Erections Demand

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Demand for male sexual performance is never made by authority.

Historically, years of failure in treatment for sexual dysfunction has pinpointed the fact that, regardless of length, depth, concept, or technique of therapy, at some point in time the therapist has turned to his patient and suggested, permitted, or even directed that he “have intercourse tonight.”

Instantaneously with that fatal suggestion, all the fears of performance came flooding back and, regardless of the effectiveness of prior therapeutic commitment, the husband was placed under authoritative direction to “do something.”

Current therapeutic concept is that no dysfunctional man should ever be under any form of suggestion or direction to accomplish anything specifically of a sexual nature. When there is need to communicate specific functional direction, such suggestion always is made to the wife, not to the husband.

Normal Sexual Response

It is a naturally occurring phenomenon and cannot be controlled, directed, or even initiated unless it is in some manner related to the natural cycle of sexual response. No man can will an erection, but he can relax and enjoy it.

Understandably, all therapy flows toward a concept of a mutual pleasure return for both members of the couple.

Instead of being suggested, directed, or given permission, as in prior therapeutic concept, to go all the way from A to Z sexually on any specific occasion, it is suggested that husband and wifes go from A to B one day, possibly from A to C or D the next, and even from A to E or F the third day.

Although physical evidence of improvement of sexual functioning may come haltingly, it is definitive. Every step in the therapeutic program is explained in detail in advance of any opportunity for sexual expression.

Both positive and negative reactions of the tentatively experimenting partners to sexual material and to overt sexual stimulation are anticipated, explained, supported, or dismissed. It is hoped that both authoritative suggestion and basic sexual information are understood and appreciated.

With this low-key, non goal-oriented technique, erection appears without fanfare, comfortably, and certainly without the husband’s forcing or the wife’s demanding its attainment.

When erection does develop in these non pressured circumstances, the couple, previously following the therapeutic tenet of maintaining “healthy skepticism”, soon becomes confident that the end of their sexual dysfunction is within sight.Once erective return is re-established, the most effective step in the physical aspect of the therapeutic program can be taken.

Penis Erection

The day after full erection is developed and maintained, it is suggested that the husband and wife enjoy this return to erective prowess by experimenting with the erective reaction. A pattern for unit response is suggested that includes manipulative play to erective return, cessation of play to allow a period of distraction for the male with consequent loss of erection, and then return to play and resurgence of erective attainment.

This “teasing” technique is continued for a full half-hour in a slow, non demanding fashion.

The man’s immediate reaction to this suggestion may be fear oriented. But how can one be sure that if he has an erection and lose it, can he get it back?

Teasing Technique

Cotherapists quickly underscore this specific evidence of the husband’s indulgence in fears of performance and his return to the past patterning of anticipation of failure so firmly rooted before referral for therapy.

It is pointed out that when he has relaxed, he and his wife have enjoyed the return of his erections during the sensate-focus period. It is further suggested that his wife also will enjoy the “teasing” technique.

She will be sexually stimulated by the opportunity for developing, losing, and developing again the penile erections. This thought rarely if ever has occurred to the husband.

He usually takes the next step in the natural progression of sexual functioning without much performance tension, for again it is emphasized that if he has an erection, fine, if not, there’s another day.

With this attitude, the “teasing” technique usually works well. During the conference period on the day following some degree of success with this technique, the improved levels of male confidence are indeed obvious.

What is even more important is that both members of the couple be made to realize that they are helping each other immeasurably with their mutual problem of sexual dysfunction.

Cotherapists constantly must reemphasize the fact that authority is not capable of teaching a physical reaction. The husband and wifes are given an opportunity to convince themselves that there is nothing wrong with their ability to respond to effective sexual stimulation.

As partial or complete erective security returns in these first few days, the husband and wife proves to itself that there is no suggestion of physical permanency to their established sexual dysfunction.

As their confidence increases, the partners move toward the next step in sexual functioning.

Within a week after the roundtable discussion, the impotent male generally has evidenced partial or complete erection.

Categories
Impotence Cure

Alternative Impotent Treatment

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Often both husband and wife find that partial or complete penile erection develops when they are merely following directions to pursue alternative sensate patterns of “pleasuring” one another without direct physical approach to the pelvic areas.

Whether a full erection develops during the first days of concentration on sensate focus is of little moment.

What is important, erection or not, is for cotherapists to take advantage of the marital-unit’s newfound means of physical communication, that of providing mutually for each other’s sensate pleasure, in order to describe in detail the concept of erection as a natural physiological reaction.

Attain Erection

Again and again therapists should hammer at the basic principle that erective attainment, like breathing or bowel or bladder function, is a capacity men are born with, not a function they must be trained to accomplish.

Husband and wife are assured and reassured that no man can will an erection and that the only thing accomplished by such attempts is blocking of sensate input from his sexual partner.

The concept of the biophysical and psychosocial systems of influence aids immeasurably in marital comprehension of the previously inexplicable results accrued from blocking of sensate input.

There are other advantages to the members of the sexually dysfunctional couple than absorption of the pleasures of sensate focus during the first two or three days after the roundtable discussion.

This is a necessary period of mental and physical relaxation from the high tension levels inherent in the strain of cooperating with the detailed personal evaluations scheduled during the first three days of participation in the program.

This respite also provides for release of nervous tensions accumulated during the last few days or weeks before husband and wifes move to meet scheduled appearance dates at the Foundation.

Finally, there is mutual opportunity to reestablish lines of communication of both verbal and nonverbal variety.

These lines of communication have been markedly inhibited or essentially destroyed by the physical tensions and the psychic trauma developing directly from and/or secondary to their sexually dysfunctional status.

On the second day, after the roundtable discussion, the program moves toward coordinating the theoretical discussions between cotherapists and the couple, described above, and the specific functional directions to be followed by husband and wife in the privacy of their bedroom.

Instructions are given to return to sensate focus procedures during the subsequent 24 hours.

Male and Female Genitalia

Direct approach to the male and female external genitalia, including the female breast, is encouraged. Underscored positively is the instruction that there is no concern for the amount of vaginal lubrication nor the effectiveness of the penile erection or, for that matter, whether or not there is any lubrication or an erection.

The essence of the directions is that each individual take advantage of this non demanding opportunity to show what most pleases him or her in any overt sexual approach to the pelvic organs.

When the husband is to excite his wife, it is suggested that they, rather than he, participate in her pleasuring and at her direction. After a comfortable period of sensate stroking of her total body area, the approach to the pelvic area should be under her control.

The wife’s hand should be placed on her husband’s to guide and to show him what really pleases her in terms of manual positioning, pressure, direction, or rapidity of stroking. There is positive reinforcement for any man learning what really pleases the women of his choice by having her quietly show him the specifics of her sensual interest.

Then the husband must, in return, provide educative opportunity for his wife. When his wife, after tracing his face, rubbing his back, or playing with his fingers, approaches his pelvic area, his hand should be on hers.

In this most effective form of nonverbal communication, he must indicate which of the multiple varieties of pelvic approach provides the most pleasure for him.

The particular areas of the penis:
are the most sensitive, the comfortable degree of manual constriction of the penile shaft, and the desired rapidity and tension of penile stroking are basic information that a wife wants to learn from her husband.

Anything that husband or wife might have learned from prior masturbatory experience that would tend to increase the levels of sensate pleasure should be shared freely with the marital partner. Often this material can only be elicited at the direction of the cotherapist.

At this time, authority should strongly emphasize in joint session that acquiring mechanical or technical skill is not a major focus of therapy.

For example
It is important for a husband to know how to approach the clitoral area when stimulating his wife, but therapists should point out that a physical approach that is exciting for the wife today may be relatively non stimulative or even irritating tomorrow.

Attaining skill at physical stimulation is of minor moment compared to the comprehension that this is but another, most effective means of marital-unit communication.

It should be underscored constantly that what really is happening in their private sessions of physical expression is that a man and a woman committed to each other are learning to communicate their physical pleasures and their physical irritations in an area that heretofore in our culture has been denied the dignity of freedom of communication.

What better level of nonverbal communication can be attained between the impotent man and his wife than, when placing his hand on hers, he teaches her what really pleases him in penile stimulation.

With cotherapists constantly emphasizing the demand to open the lines of communication within the sexually traumatized couple, and husband and wife establishing their nonverbal communication at the most important of all communicative levels, that of the marriage bed, the marital couple is really doing its own therapy.

They are teaching each other specifically what pleases. Although they frequently do not realize it at this stage in their therapy, husband and wife are focusing their attention on each other rather than involuntarily assuming roles as spectators to physical response and thus perpetuating their mutual fears for his performance.

Categories
Impotence Cure

Alternative Erection Treatment

Alternative, erection treatment, impotent, impotence, erection, penis, stimulate sex, sexual dysfunction, Maintain, Erection, Maintain Erection

The basic means of treating the sexually distraught marital relationship is, of course, to re-establish communication. The most effective means of encouraging communication is through a detailed presentation of information.

There must be a point of departure, a common meeting ground for the traumatized members of any sexually dysfunctional marriage.

How better to provide for mutuality of interest and understanding than to educate the distressed husband and wife to effective sexual functioning by dispelling their sexual misconceptions, misinformation, and taboos?

Erection Treatment

The couple progress in the educational program is by encouraging verbal communication. The details of the techniques necessary for the unit to reverse the sexual inadequacy are spelled out in finite detail during the approximately 10 days remaining for therapy after the roundtable discussion.

As sexual function improves
these techniques for biophysical release are held out as rewards to direct attention toward mutuality of interest and expression, while marital disharmony is attacked directly.

When there is obvious improvement in physical responsivity, the distressed unit members are only too eager to reestablish a firm, secure marital state. They are most attentive to the educational process, for they shortly come to realize that permanent reversal of the dysfunctional symptomatology relates directly to the health of the marriage.

When husband and wife visualize the results of their biophysical progression on a daily basis, they are intent upon providing the best possible psychosocial climate for continuing improvement once separated from direct professional control.

Obviously, the more stable the marriage the better the climate for effective sexual functions. Again, the marital relationship per se is under treatment at the Foundation, not its principals.

Discussions:
of the distractions of fears of performance and the spectator role, plus the necessity for duality of biophysical and psychosocial input from sexually stimulative activity, are conducted with both marital partners during the three days subsequent to the roundtable discussion.

The acceptance of the “performance” and “spectator” concepts moves the husband and wife well along the road to full appreciation of the mutuality of their involvement with the impotent state.

From a psychotherapeutic point of view, the next step is to suggest to both members of the husband and wife ways and means of avoiding the basic distractions of the spectator role and the fears of performance.

An effective way:
To prevent fears of performance is to state unequivocally to both husband and wife that as they attempt to follow therapeutic suggestion in the privacy of their bedroom there is no demand for good marks in their daily report on their degree of success in following the functional directions.

Authority is infinitely more interested in the distressed couple making its mistakes, describing them in joint sessions with the cotherapists, and absorbing information to correct them in the immediacy of a 24-hour period, than in providing a cheering section.

We tend to learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. The first step toward relief from fears of performance is to define the Foundation’s position that failures of function not only are expected but are anticipated as an integral part of the process of reorienting the sexually dysfunctional male.

Once the husband and wife fully accepts the concept that perfect report cards are not the order of the day, a major facet of concern for performance has been removed. The impotent male’s first reaction to functional suggestions is to attempt to force responsivity in order to satisfy presumed authoritative demand. When it is made exquisitely clear that there is no authoritative interest in a perfect performance, his sense of relief is indeed obvious.

Remaining fears for sexual function can be neutralized by the direction that there be no attempt at coital connection during the first few days of therapy.

Cotherapists should emphasize that there is concern whether or not the husband achieves an erection, for, even if he does, there should be no attempt by either husband or wife to take advantage of the erective state and move to ejaculation by either manipulative or coital opportunity. When any possibility of coital connection is obviated by authoritative direction, fears of performance disappear.

Erection Insecurity

At the termination of the roundtable discussion, the husband and wife contending with erective insecurity move directly into a discussion of and application of sensate-focus material. At this stage of treatment, any direct approach to the male pelvis, female breast, and female pelvis is contraindicated.

The husband and wife relax from their prior anxious concepts of specific or demanding sexual functioning and, possibly for the first time, devotes total concentration through sensate focus toward pleasuring one another.

Quiet, non-demanding stroking of the back, the face, the arms, the legs, provides an opportunity to give and to receive sensate pleasure, but, of far greater importance, opportunity to think and to feel sexy without the orientation to performance.

Incompetent Male

Previously, the incompetent male, frozen into his demand for erective security, has blocked sensate input either primarily, from his wife’s direct physical approach or secondarily, from his effective elevation of her sexual tensions.

With sexual performance not only contraindicated but denied, the husband is quite free to receive sensate input from both direct and indirect sources, since his block to sensate pleasure (fear of performance) has been removed by authoritative interdiction of coital opportunity,

At this time the cotherapists describe in detail the concept of the dual systems of influence operant at all times in perception and interpretation of sexual stimuli.

It is explained that the two systems of influence, the biophysical and the psychosocial structures, produce varying degrees of positive or negative input during opportunities for sexual expression. It is emphasized that these two systems operate in an interdigital manner, although without compulsion for mutual support.

Once the couple accepts this working formula, sensate input can be comprehended. With comprehension come attitudinal receptivity and the potential for sensate pleasure.