Author: The Beauty Nation

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation Frustration

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

The uninformed wife’s reaction to a husband with an established problem of premature ejaculation also is relatively type-cast. During the first months or years of the marriage the usual response is one of tolerance, understanding, or sympathy, with soft-voiced expressions of confidence that the problem will be overcome with patience, love, and mutual cooperation.

With due passage of time and with her husband’s rapid ejaculatory tendency not only continuing, but frequently becoming worse, the wife’s sexual frustrations rise to the surface. She verbalizes her distress by accusing her husband of just using her as an object for sexual release; in short, of being selfish, irresponsible, or simply of having no interest in or feeling for her as an individual.

These wifely complaints are legion, couched in individually self-expressive terms but reflecting in general rebellion at being used sexually rather than loved sexually. The “just being used” is the part most difficult for wives to accept.

Although they complaint of premature ejaculation have been referred to the clinic after as brief an interval as one year of marriage, generally this particular syndrome is not presented for therapeutic reversal until after five to twenty years of marriage. Usually the problem is ignored or tolerated by the wife until children are born.

With distractions provided by the demands of the new family, the prematurely ejaculating husband is accepted. But once a family of desirable size has been achieved, and the youngest has reached some level of independence, the wife’s sexual frustrations, enhanced by her increasing psychosocial freedom as the children mature, reach the breaking-point.

She spotlights the problem by insisting on professional guidance for herself, demanding that her husband seek professional help, enjoying sexual release provided by another partner, male or female, or any combination of these three potentials.

In General

Psychotherapeutic support for the wife of a premature ejaculator is palliative at best. There is no way to alleviate the main source of irritation when dealing professionally with her sexual problems in a one-to-one method of psychotherapy. Nor has psychotherapy directed specifically toward the problem of premature ejaculation been particularly successful, because there has not been widespread professional knowledge of clinical techniques available to teach ejaculatory control.

At Best

The wife, by seeking other coital partners, can only double her levels of frustration, if she realizes comparatively through successful sexual experience with other men the inadequacies of her own husband’s sexual performance. Conversely, she may find herself unresponsive in extramarital coition, possibly from feelings of guilt or from conditioned repression of her own sexual responses through years of contending with her husband’s rapid ejaculatory pattern. Many women have sought psychosexual release in homosexual experience under these circumstances.

Before acknowledging loss of all hope of successful sexual functioning, the members, of the couple individually or together try any number of physical dodges to avoid the usual rapid ejaculatory termination of their sexual exposures. The most consistently employed homemade remedy is the “don’t touch” treatment. The husband requests that his wife not approach his genital area during their precoital play.

Instead, both partners concentrate their attention on stimulating the female partner almost to the point of orgasm.

Of course, there is concomitant male stimulation coming from observation of his wife’s obvious “pleasure response” to his sexually stimulative approaches. Finally, if and when the wife attains a high level of sexual stimulation, there is an episode of hurried penile penetration with the husband vainly trying to distract himself from the sexually stimulating experience of intromission.

Sexual Distress
Various procedures for distraction are employed by the anxious husband. He fantasies such non sexual material as work at the office, an unbalanced family budget, an argument with a neighbour, a fishing trip, counting backward from one hundred, etc.

When the fantasy material has been proved ineffectual, the next step is to initiate some form of physical distress. The husband may bite his lip, contract the rectal sphincter, pinch himself, pull his hair, or use any other means of physical distraction.

All techniques, subjective or objective, are designed, of course, to enhance ejaculatory control by reducing the level of the sensate input during the coital process.

The wife meanwhile is thrusting frantically in a vain attempt to achieve orgasmic release before her partner ejaculates. The rapid transition from the mutually agreed upon “don’t touch” approach in precoital play to a rushed mounting episode and immediate contention with a demanding, thrusting, highly excited woman usually provides sufficiently forceful stimuli to initiate ejaculation before the wife possibly can obtain sexual release.

Premature Ejaculator Frustration
When all distraction techniques fail, the warmth of the couple’s interpersonal relationship slowly ebbs away. As the wife’s level of cold personal disinterest reflecting her sexual frustration increases, and denunciations (verbal or silent) of her husband’s sexual dysfunction continue, the next step taken by the now anxious, self-effacing husband, “the man who just can’t get the job done,” is one of slow but definite withdrawal from the unit’s established frequency of sexual contact.

Usually this action is temporarily acceptable to his frustrated wife. His withdrawal from sexual exposure continues despite the fact that the one thing the premature ejaculator cannot tolerate and still maintain any semblance of control is increasing periods of sexual continence.

He frequently sleeps on the sofa or in another room; she visits her family and stays longer than planned, or simply refuses sexual contact for increasing periods of time.

The longer the periods of continence, regardless of source, the more rapid and severe the husband’s ejaculatory response on those rare occasions when sexual contact is permitted.

Granted that the premature ejaculator may exhibit little significant control at the usual once or twice-a-week rate of exposure, yet he certainly will have no control at all when the coital exposures are reduced to once, twice, or thrice a month.

Sexual Confidence
Over a period of years with no obvious improvement in her husband’s sexual performance, the wife loses confidence in her partner’s consideration for or appreciation of her as an individual, and concomitantly some degree of confidence in herself as a woman.

Sexual Demands
For effective sexual performance are continuously verbalized or acted out by the female partner over an extended period, the complication of erective inadequacy may appear. The husband, questioning his own sexual prowess time and again, abetted in this frightful concern by his wife’s specific verbal derogation of his masculinity, frequently is enveloped by anticipatory fears of performance whenever sexual expression is imminent.

Fears of performance
Combined with techniques for avoiding direct penile stimulation during precoital play and his wife’s obvious disinterest in active sexual functioning, not only make the man increasingly conscious of his inadequacies of sexual performance but also raise psychologically crippling questions as to his very maleness.

In short, all these factors plus his fantasy patterns of trying to distract himself from subjective pleasure during active sexual functioning finally place the man in the spectator role in his own marital bed. There is a slow transition from the role of physical self-distraction during coition to that of a fear-ridden spectator at his own sexual performance.

Thus, the husband assumes the psychological stature of a secondarily impotent male with all of the well-established concerns for sexual performance and the constant retreat to a spectator role. Time and time again premature ejaculators of many years standing not only lose confidence in their own sexual performance but also, unable to respond positively while questioning their own masculinity, terminate their sexual functioning with secondary impotence.

This stage of functional involution is, of course, the crowning blow to husband and wife as individuals and usually to the marital relationship.

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Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation & Sex

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

The male is encouraged to lie flat on his back and the female to mount in a superior position, her knees placed approximately at his nipple line and parallel to his trunk.

The nearer the two individuals are to the same height, the nearer the woman’s knees should be placed to the nipple line. If the wife has the shorter trunk, she should place herself somewhat below the nipple line. If the wife has the longer trunk, her knees should be just above the nipple line.

Female Superior Position

Leaning over her mate at a 45-degree angle, she is comfortably able to insert the penis and then to move back on, rather than sit down on the penile shaft.

After bringing:
The penis to full erection and employing the squeeze technique two or three times for his control orientation

The wife then should mount in this specifically described superior position. Once mounted, she should concentrate on retaining the penis intravaginally in a motionless manner, providing no further stimulation for her husband by thrusting pelvically.

Her physical restraint enables the husband to become acquainted with the sensation of intravaginal containment in a non demanding, therefore non threatening, and environment. No longer does he respond to the subconscious concept that his wife is ready to force his ejaculatory process to an unhappily rapid conclusion by overt physical expression of her own sexual desire.

For the established premature ejaculator the ultimate of sexual stimulation occurs with the mounting opportunity and during the first few seconds of intravaginal containment. If the man with inadequate control has not ejaculated prior to intravaginal penetration he will do so in short order, once penile containment has been accomplished, when there is any suggestion of active pelvic thrusting on his wife’s part.

When his wife cooperates fully in the superior coital position and in the sexually non demanding fashion of penile containment described above, she enables her husband to concentrate on the concepts of ejaculatory control elicited by the squeeze technique and additionally to become accustomed to the stimulative effect of intravaginal containment.

During the husband’s level of sexual excitation threatens to escape his still shaky control, he should immediately communicate this increased sexual tension to his wife. She then can elevate from the penile shaft, apply the squeeze technique in the previously practiced manner for 3 or 4 seconds, and reinsert the penis, again providing full vaginal containment without the added stimulus of pelvic thrusting.

The specifically described female-superior coital position makes pelvic elevation from the penile shaft physically easy for her so that the squeeze technique can be applied rapidly to the proper area of the penis, if threatened loss of ejaculatory control develops.

In subsequent days, with some degree of performance reliability established for penile containment in the female-superior position, the husband is encouraged to provide just sufficient pelvic thrusting to maintain his erection. Again the wife is requested to maintain the specifically fixed superior position without active pelvic thrusting.

If man and woman lie together with the penis in intravaginal containment without either partner providing some degree of pelvic thrusting, the man will tend to lose his erection after a short period of time, just as the woman will note marked reduction in the rate of lubrication production.

This physiological evidence of reduction in sexual tension is:

Due to the fact that both marital partners become distracted by any long continued state of sexual inactivity, losing focus on the sensate pleasure inherent in the principle of quiet vaginal containment.

It should be emphasized to the couple that success in ejaculatory control in the female superior position is but another psycho physiological step toward effective coital functioning in any desired coital positioning. It is an important psychological step in providing further relief for both husband’s and wife’s fears of performance.

With a “healthy skepticism” attitude encouraged by authority, both members of the couple develop insight into the fact that they are accomplishing their own “cure.” Through their physical cooperation and increasingly effective verbal and nonverbal communication, ejaculatory control is developing.

Proof positive of improved control develops by the second or third day’s exposure to the female-superior coital position in that 15 to 20 minutes of intravaginal containment without untoward ejaculatory demand is a relatively routine accomplishment.

Yet another important factor coming into focus at this stage in the development of the husband’s voluntary ejaculatory control is the cooperative wife’s level of sexual responsivity. Indeed many women married to premature ejaculators have never been orgasmic in the marriage, and most of those women that have been orgasmic in the marriage have obtained this release through manipulative or oral-genital techniques rather than coital opportunity.

Intercourse in married couples attention obviously has been focused upon the male partner for the first few days of the therapeutic program, yet the wife may have experienced an elevation of sexual tension far superior to levels she might have anticipated. There are many reasons for this sex tension increment, the most prominent of which should be considered in some detail.

First
During the sensate-focus phase of the therapy, there is mutual “pleasuring”. Usually her levels of sexual responsivity elevate rapidly under these most advantageous conditions. There is physical closeness and holding, development or redevelopment of communication, and markedly increased warmth of understanding between husband and wife.

Many of the misconceptions, fallacies, or even the taboos relating to the couple’s prior sexual interaction have been faced, examined, explained in depth, and, to a major degree, reversed or mutually accepted during daily interviews with the cotherapists. There is no environment more conducive to marked elevation in the levels of female sexual response than that occasioned by the concept that something is happening of a positive nature to reduce or eliminate the couple’s sexual dysfunction.

As both husband and wife cooperate in the pleasuring opportunity, the increasing warmth of their interpersonal relationship is a hopeful support for the emotionally insecure woman that .the wife of a premature ejaculator usually becomes after years of sexual frustration.

Second
During manipulative phase of the squeeze technique there concomitantly is further increase in the level of female sexual tension. When the wife provides controlled play for her husband and observes both the physical pleasure she provides and his obvious delight in progress toward ejaculatory control, these reactions are reflected as positive and highly stimulative biophysical and psychosocial influences. In short order the wife finds herself highly excited sexually and strongly motivated toward orgasmic release.

Third
Although the wife is instructed to avoid pelvic thrusting, the initial period of intravaginal penile containment provides her with the simultaneous opportunity to feel and think sexually, not infrequently for the first time in her marriage. The sensate pleasures of non demanding penile containment have not been available to her in view of the couple’s basic sexual dysfunction.

When there has been sufficient ejaculatory control to accomplish penetration, the actual act of physical connection usually has been followed immediately by the wife’s straining demand for tension release. Alternatively, if past sexual patterning has forced her to lie quietly after penetration in the vain hope of avoiding forcing her husband to ejaculation, the entire psycho sexual experience of coital connection has been focused on his battle for ejaculatory control rather than on providing her with any expression of freedom to enjoy personal sexual responsivity.

Contending with a husband fighting a constant battle for ejaculatory control not only engenders severe sexual frustration for the wife but also over the years produces in her a distinctively negative attitude toward sexual expression.

Fourth
When in the female-superior coital position with intravaginal containment of the penis and even with controlled restriction of pelvic movement, the wife has been directed simply to feel and think sexually and to enjoy the sensation of vaginal distention. Following these suggestions, the proprioceptive pressures created by intravaginal containment of the erect penis are subjectively anticipated and appreciated. The wife gains almost as much from this stage in the exercise of ejaculatory control as does her husband.

Thus, the combination of subjective relief of fear for her husband’s inadequacy of sexual performance plus the opportunity to feel, think, and relate sexually are enormously stimulating to the female partner. As her partner’s control increases, female pelvic thrusting can be encouraged, initially in a slow, non demanding manner, but soon with full freedom of expression. Once sexual tensions, built from both freedom for biophysical-system response and growing confidence in the psychosocial elements of the unit’s interpersonal relationships, are released to be enjoyed at will, orgasmic expression becomes a natural potential.

Final Phase
In the voluntary development of ejaculatory control is entered as the couple is encouraged to convert the female-superior position to that of the lateral coital position. In the lateral coital position there is a maximum opportunity for male ejaculatory control. As the husband’s sexual tensions elevate, he can withhold active pelvic thrusting yet provide a full controlled erection with which his wife can continue to express her own sexual demands and against which she can relieve her sexual tensions.

In the lateral coital position the woman uniquely has complete freedom of pelvic movement in any direction. There is no pelvic or chest pinning, or cramping of leg or arm muscles. She can respond to her own tension demands as she sees fit, confident that this coital position provides her husband not only with high levels of subjective sexual pleasure but also with the best possible physical opportunity for ejaculatory control.

After becoming secure in the multiple protection the position affords and in the anatomies of leg and arm arrangement, most couples employ lateral coital positioning by choice in at least 75 percent of their coital opportunities.

Categories
Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

From a clinical point of view it is extremely difficult to define the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Most definitions refer specifically to the duration of intravaginal containment of the penis. For teaching purposes a genitourinary service in a medical centre has described a premature ejaculator as a man who cannot control his ejaculatory process for at least the first 30 seconds after penetration. In similar vein a hospital psychiatric service has described the premature ejaculator as a man who cannot repress his ejaculatory demand for one full minute of intravaginal containment.

More realistically, a definition of premature ejaculation should reflect socio cultural orientation together with consideration of the prevailing requirements of sexual partners rather than an arbitrarily specific period of time.

30 to 60 seconds of intravaginal containment is quite sufficient to satisfy a woman.

If she has been highly excited during precoital sex play and is fully ready for orgasmic release with the initial thrusts of the penis. However, during most coital opportunity, the same woman may require variably longer periods of penile containment before attaining full release of sexual tension.

While readily admitting the inadequacies of the definition, the clinic considers a man a premature ejaculator if he cannot control his ejaculatory process for a sufficient length of time during intravaginal containment to satisfy his partner in at least 50 percent of their coital connections. If the female partner is persistently non orgasmie for reasons other than rapidity of the male’s ejaculatory process, there is no validity to the definition. At least this definition does move away from the “stopwatch” concept.

The male’s level of concern for an uncontrolled ejaculatory pattern and the concomitant depth of his female partner’s sexual frustrations tend to increase in direct parallel to the degree of their formal education.

For instance:
grade-school or early high school dropouts rarely request relief from premature ejaculation. In this socio cultural setting the man generally dominates the pattern of sexual function within the couple, and his sexual satisfaction is the major concern.

Rapidity of ejaculation is not considered a sexual hazard, and in fact may provide welcome relief for the woman accepting and fulfilling a role as a sexual object without exposure to or personal belief in the concept of parity between the sexes in the privileges and the pleasures of sexual functioning.

Rapid release from sexual service frequently is accepted as a blessing by women living in the restrictive levels of this subculture’s inherent double standard. Of course these women are free to enjoy orgasmic expression if it develops, but neither partner usually considers it the man’s responsibility to aid or abet woman’s sexual responsivity. (It should be noted that clinic and clinical studies have been extremely limited in material of cross-cultural or racial significance.)

The complainee in the couple contending with an established pattern of premature ejaculation usually is the female partner. If the male ejaculates regularly during premounting sex play or during attempts at mounting, or even with the first few penile thrusts after intravaginal containment, there rarely is opportunity for effective female sexual expression.

Time and again women’s sexual tensions are elevated by precoital sex play, further edged by the additional stimulation of the penetration process, only to be confronted with almost instantaneous ejaculation and subsequent loss of penile erection. There is a high level of female frustration, particularly when this male response pattern is repeated routinely lime after time.

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Premature Ejaculation

Penis Withdrawal Technique

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

With coital partners using the withdrawal technique as a means of contraception, the usual sexual sequence prescribes participation in sex play to a plateau level of male excitation, a rapid mounting process with a few frantic pelvic thrusts, and then abrupt withdrawal, which satisfies the male with an ejaculat0ry episode and protects the female from pregnancy. Usually, both partners fall into the psychosexual trap of ignoring at onset any concept of male responsibility for aiding female tension release.

This withdrawal practice serves to encourage and ultimately to condition a rapid ejaculatory response upon the sexually inexperienced young man and to physiologically and psychologically condition both partners to the concept that the vagina is only to be used fleetingly as a stimulant for male ejaculatory pleasure. The anxious female partner, worried that the male may not withdraw in time, rarely has the opportunity to think and feel sexually, so any experience of orgasmic tension release would be coincidental.

In every situation, ranging from the impatience of the prostitute to the contraception-oriented withdrawal techniques, total emphasis is placed on the presumed male prerogative of freedom of sexual expression without responsibility for his partner’s sexual response. The old double standard of male sexual dominance is perpetuated by the concept of rapid and effective release of male sexual tensions provided by a female companion who services a man without expecting or receiving comparable sexual prerogatives from her sexual partner.

Masturbation

Despite strong cultural beliefs to the contrary, masturbatory practices, regardless of frequency or technique employed, have not been identified historically as an etiological factor in the syndrome of premature ejaculation.

After all, in the usual male masturbatory sequence there is no female companion negating her own birthright of functional sexual demand in order to provide her male partner with tension releases.

When the established premature ejaculator contemplates marriage, there may be an “engagement period” expression of concern by the wife-to-be for his sexual patterning.

However, there usually is the expression of faith by both partners that the lack of ejaculatory control will be resolved with the new wife’s understanding and cooperation and the continuity of the sexual exposure inevitably engendered by the privilege of marriage.

There is no way of knowing how many men who ejaculate prematurely in the first few months or even first year or two of marriage develop in due course reasonably adequate ejaculatory control, because these temporarily beleaguered couples do not seek consultation. However, probably hundreds of thousands of men never gain sufficient ejaculatory control to satisfy their wives sexually regardless of the duration of marriage or the frequency of mutual sexual exposure.

Unfortunately, all too few of these couples ever seek professional direction.

Men and women have relatively stereotyped reactions when they are husband and wife in a unit contending with the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Some men simply cannot be touched genitally without ejaculating within a matter of seconds. Others will ejaculate immediately subsequent to observation of an unclothed female body or while reading or looking at pornographic material.

Many others ejaculate during varying stages of precoital play. However, most men who ejaculate prematurely do so during an attempt at intromission or during the first few full strokes of the penis subsequent to intravaginal containment.

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Premature Ejaculation

Male Superior Position

male, penis, masturbation, premature ejaculation, sex

Yet another reason for emphasizing the female-superior and the more effective lateral coital positioning is that the most popular position in our culture, the male-superior positioning, presents the greatest difficulties with ejaculatory control.

If the coital connection is to be brief with both partners obviously wishing rapid pelvic thrusting to release of their high levels of sexual tension, coital positioning does not matter. But if there is desire to prolong the connection either for mutual pleasure or because the female partner needs more opportunity to feel and think sexually, the male superior position, which places the greatest strain on ejaculatory control, should be avoided when possible.

On every occasion, before female-superior coital position is established and then possibly converted to a lateral mounting arrangement, a comfortable period of precoital sex play is encouraged. The wife should employ the squeeze technique at least two or three times before penetration is attempted.

It takes a significant period of time to alter an early imprinting of the pattern of rapid ejaculation.

However, in the two-week treatment program, sufficient competence in ejaculatory control can be developed to alleviate mutual fears of performance, obviate the spectator role, and provide all the opportunity necessary for continued improvement in control subsequent to release from the acute stage of therapy.

Before the couple leaves the clinic, the cotherapists emphasize the fact that problems of ejaculatory control continue to a minor degree for at least the subsequent year. Several techniques to encourage continuing success in ejaculatory control are described for marital-partner benefit. The unit is reminded that after returning to the demands of their everyday world, regularity of sexual exposure is of primary concern.

For the first six months the squeeze technique should be employed on at least a once-a-week basis prior to coital opportunity; the remainder of the unit’s sexual opportunities during the week are encouraged to develop in a natural, unconstrained fashion. This approach provides the man with the necessary means for transition from a controlled sexual experience to a completely extemporaneous opportunity.

It is also suggested that the couple take advantage of the wife’s menstrual period each month to provide at least one session of 15 to 20 minutes devoted specifically to male sexual stimulation with manual manipulation and repetitive application of the squeeze technique for control of the ejaculatory process.

Ejaculatory Control Techniques

Usually are indicated for a minimum of six to twelve months after termination of the acute phase of therapy. During the routine follow up discussions after termination of the unit’s acute phase of treatment decision to terminate use of the squeeze technique is made by professional evaluation of the degree of control during the unit’s spontaneous matings.

It also is important to emphasize that if circumstances lead to separation of marital members for a matter of several weeks, coital exposure after the couple is physically reunited may find the male returning to his role as a premature ejaculator. Obviously, the procedure in this situation is to reemploy the squeeze technique for several consecutive coital exposures.

If constituted with warmth and understanding ejaculatory control will return rapidly.

With adequate warning of the possibility of these complications, a more relaxed concept of freedom of sexual approach is possible for couples contending with severe premature ejaculation.

Numerable approaches to the treatment of premature ejaculation have been described, discarded, or conducted with varying levels of professional acceptance. Hypnotic suggestion, both in natural and drug-induced states of receptivity, has been a popular approach to the problem.

Penis Cream

There has been widespread acceptance of anesthetic creams and jellies prescribed for application to the erect penis theoretically to reduce neurogenic end-organ sensitivity to the stimuli of manipulation or vaginal containment. Specific drug preparations, tranquilizers, barbituates, etc., have been prescribed in an effort to dull male sensitivity to stimuli in general and to stimuli of sexual content in particular.

Many men have tried with varying degrees of success to lower their natural sexual tension levels by ingestion of sizable quantities of alcohol before anticipated sexual encounter.

Frantic men consume a never ending list of potions, nostrums, and poisons, all designed to reduce rapidity of ejaculatory response, all curiously directed to a male’s sexual functioning alone without regard for his partner’s involvement. Any form of sexual inadequacy is a problem of mutual involvement for partners in a marriage.

With a wife’s full cooperation, her willingness to learn and to apply the basic principles of ejaculatory control, and the warmth of her personal involvement expressed openly to her mate, reversal of this crippling marital distress is essentially assured. As further support of this argument for the necessity of involvement of the wife in the resolution of a well established premature ejaculatory pattern, it should be pointed out that the squeeze technique is not effective if done by the male attempting to teach himself control.

If a man manipulates his penis to erection and then applies the squeeze technique to control an imminent ejaculatory response, he usually can halt the natural progression of sex tension increment and successfully depress his ejaculatory urge.

However, once this man returns to the stimulation of a heterosexual relationship, it is as if he had made no prior solitary attempts at control. What is obviated by solitary attempts to learn ejaculatory control is the fact that with a female partner the individual male cannot entirely set the pace of sexual functioning, nor can he entirely, deny the sexual stimuli absorbed from the obvious psycho sexual involvement of his marital partner.

In The 11 Years:

186 men have been treated for premature ejaculation. There have been 4 failures to learn adequate control during the acute phase of therapy. Adequate control is defined as sufficient to provide orgasmic opportunity for the sexual partner during approximately 50 percent of the coital opportunities. The failure rate is 2.2 percent.

Three of the failures were with couples; and one was with a man previously divorced because of his premature ejaculatory pattern, who brought a replacement partner to the treatment program.

In two of the four instances there was no real motivation on the part of the male partner to learn ejaculation control. These men had accompanied their non orgasmic wives as a cooperative venture, but when they learned that they were in fact contributing to their wives’ sexual dysfunction they refused further cooperation. They simply could not accept a reversal of their deeply ingrained double standard of sexual function.

There is no specific explanation for the two remaining failures to control the premature ejaculatory tendencies of the men involved. Both units were fully cooperative but the techniques simply did not work. One of these men, 64 years old, was the only failure among 19 men 50 years or older treated for premature ejaculation.

A brief note of clinical warning is in order. After learning to control a premature ejaculatory tendency, 23 of the couples treated by clinic personnel were confronted by a brief period of secondary impotence just before or shortly after termination of the acute phase of therapy.

Sexual Function Improvement

Most couples, delighted with the significant improvement in sexual functioning, enter a period of marked frequency of coital connection as compared with their sexual exposure rate just before visiting the clinic.

Sometimes the male partner simply cannot meet the suddenly elevated frequency demand and encounters an episode of erective failure. He only has to have one such experience before all his fears of performance flood his consciousness. What new form of dysfunction is this? Has the treatment caused it? His initial anxiety reaction is of serious proportion.

The thought that he was sexually satiated for the moment never occurs either to the concerned husband or his sexually enthusiastic wife. Care must be taken by authority to warn couples of the possibility of a transitory experience with impotence, as they are adjusting their overwhelming pleasure with their newfound sexual function to the practicality of the male’s level of sexual responsivity.

With prior warning the couples take an episode of impotence in stride, even laughing at the concrete evidence of their sexual greediness. Without adequate warning, a persistence of symptoms of secondary impotence is possible, for the fears of performance and spectator roles return to their dominant position before adequate explanation of the distressful event is available,

In brief, the problem of premature ejaculation is uniquely one that can be resolved effectively and permanently. For successful resolution of the problem, a man needs some understanding of the origin of distress, a knowledge of techniques to establish control, and, above all else, a cooperative, involved sexual partner.

Categories
Penis Health

Ejaculation Incompetence

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

The process of Ejaculation
Have you ever wonders how the whitish or cloudy fluid shoots out from the penis? Well, not all of us attended biology class, right? Here’s simply how; the sperm is produced by the testes, once formed, it will move into the epididymis and keep store until sexual activity. Only when the penis is stimulated during sexual activity, the process of ejaculation starts to take place (imagine as if you’re engaging the gear of your vehicle…)

Emission is the first stage and it is the contraction of the epididymis, vas deferens, seminal vesicles, and prostate that let the seminal fluid enter the urethra. The penis excited and aroused, with the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles, produces the orgasm and is ready to ‘erupt’! Coincidentally, the second stage of ejaculation is the eruption of the semen out of the urethra.

After the orgasm and volcanic eruption of the penis, the erection usually returned to its flaccid state. The penis went into rest and reproduction period. Hence, is difficult to have another erection or ejaculation again in a short time.

Premature Ejaculation
It is extremely difficult to define the syndrome of premature ejaculation. Most definitions refer specifically to the duration of intra-vaginal containment of the penis or a man who cannot control his ejaculatory process for at least the first 3 seconds after penetration. In 1981, the Hite Report on Male Sexuality was based on a survey of over 7000 men and found that 2% of these men ejaculated within 60 seconds of penetration. While another 62% ejaculated within 5 minutes. Only one in six men lasted for over five minutes after penetration, and only one in ten lasted over ten minutes. The report also showed that there is no difference between races, circumcised men and non-circumcised men.

Most men say that they would like to sustain their erection long enough to satisfy their partner. More than 30% of men suffer severe premature ejaculation and almost all men will occasionally ejaculate very quickly. Any man who says it has never occurred to him is probably either a virgin or a liar.

What causes Premature Ejaculation

Physical
Some men thought it is a question of ‘time’, but rather it should be a question of ‘control’. The big head should be controlling the small head rather than the other way around. Premature ejaculation has a physical and a psychological cause. The physical cause has to do with the nerve supply to the skin of the penis. These nerves are very sensitive. If this sensitivity is too great, very little contact is needed to bring on ejaculation. This sensitivity can actually be measured by using a machine called a biosthesiometer. This machine gives off very small vibrations that can be measured in amplitude. If your penis can pick up very low amplitude vibrations, then the penis is regarded as being highly sensitive.

On the contrary, 3 to 60 seconds of intra-vaginal containment is quite sufficient to satisfy a woman, if she has been highly excited during sex play and is fully ready for orgasmic release with the initial thrusts of the penis. However, during most coital opportunity, the same woman may require variably longer periods of penile containment before attaining full release of sexual tension.

Psychological
In the majority of men with premature ejaculation, the origin is psychological. It most happened during the first sexual encounter. An enormous pressure to perform is placed on the shoulders of a poor young man who is about to embark on his first important task. Before he knew it, ejaculation has occurred. At times, he is not in the right place and time.

This feeling of inadequacy to perform will hover around him for a while. Subsequent experiences are marred by the memory of this humiliating failure. This self-imposed pressure of performance gets greater every time he faces sex. With the repeatable bad experiences, the more he thinks about it the worse it gets. Before he knows it, it has become a permanent problem in his lovemaking. This may lead to feeling inadequate, inferior, and frustrated. Some men go their whole lives never really experiencing control of their ejaculation.

The complainant usually the partner instead of showing concern, rolls her eyes up in disappointment. If the male ejaculates regularly during mounting sex play or during attempts at mounting or even with the first few thrusts, there rarely is opportunity for effective female sexual expression. Time and again women’s sexual tensions are elevated by fore play or sex play, further aroused by the additional stimulation of the penetration process, only to be confronted with almost instantaneous ejaculation and subsequent loss of penile erection. This will result in high level of female frustration. Particularly when this male response pattern is repeated routinely time after time.

Some men have premature ejaculation and were fortunate enough to have sex. Subsequently after ejaculation, they could sometimes pretend nothing had happened. That is, after ejaculating, the thrusting still continues until the partner looked satisfied or until next possible ejaculation again.

Premature Ejaculation is Good at times

Rapidity of ejaculation is not considered a sexual hazard, in fact it may provide welcome relief for the woman accepting and fulfilling a role as a sexual object without exposure to or personal belief in the concept of parity between the sexes in the privileges and the pleasures of sexual functioning. Rapid release from sexual service frequently is accepted as a blessing by women living in the restrictive levels of this sub-culture’s inherent double standard.

Ejaculation Incompetence in Aging Male

The Aging Effect
The alteration of sexual patterning is probably the most important psycho physiological in midlife especially 50 to 70 year period. It is also the male’s loss of high levels of ejaculatory demand. So many men in the older age groups consider them old fart and are too old to function sexually, yet cannot explain how they have arrived at this conclusion.

As age rises, he not only enjoys an unexpected increase in ejaculatory control but also at the same time has a definite reduction in ejaculatory demand. Example, if a 60 plus years old man has intercourse on an average of once or twice a week, his own specific drive to ejaculate might be of major moment every second or third time there is coital connection. This level of innate demand does not imply that the man cannot or does not ejaculate more frequently. He can force himself or be forced by the partner to ejaculate more frequently, but if left to resolve his own individual demand level he may find that an ejaculatory experience every second or third coital connection is completely satisfying personally. Explicitly his own subjective level of ejaculatory demand does not keep pace with the frequency of his physiological ability to achieve an erection or to maintain this erection with full pleasure on an indefinite basis.

This reduction of ejaculatory demand for the aging male is the entire basis for effective prolongation of sexual functioning in the aging population. If an aging man does not ejaculate, he can return to erection rapidly after prior loss of erective security through distraction or female satiation.

The older man can easily achieve and sustain an erection if there is no ejaculatory threat in the immediate offing. The unreformed partner poses an ejaculatory threat. She believes that she has not accomplished her purpose unless her sex partner ejaculates. How many women in our culture feel they have fulfilled the feminine role if their partner has not ejaculated? Whether he likes it or needs it, she must be a good sexual partner–“We all know man needs to ejaculate every time he has intercourse”–so goes the phrase.

If the male is confident on his own sexual demand schedule and to have intercourse as it fits both sexual partners’ interest levels. An average but reasonably healthy couple will be capable of performing sex even at the age of 80 year!

MASTURBATION COMBAT PREMATURE EJACULATION & EJACULATION INCOMPETENCE

The best results from this treatment are achieved when the exercises are done with a partner working with you and supporting your efforts. However, this treatment can be also being accomplished on your own without a partner. It can be done even if you are not yet in a relationship. This last approach is important because many men avoid forming a sexual relationship because of this problem. The treatments are divided into masturbation exercises and exercises with intercourse. Masturbation exercises Ninety-seven per cent of men masturbate. What most men are unaware of is that the way that they masturbate may have a dramatic effect on the way they perform sexually.

Points to ponder: “Where do you think is the most sensitive part of your body when you’re masturbating?” Your answer might be the glans of your penis, or knob or tip of the penis, is regarded as being the most sensitive part while masturbating, right?

Well, not exactly true. Some men felt the most sensitive parts of their body while masturbating are the ears. How true this is? Masturbation is an activity that boys and men choose to do privately. It is not a subject for open discussion though it may be a daily routine during teenage. It serves as a release for sexual fantasies. However, society frowns on this activity for reasons hard to understand, so it is imperative that one is not caught in the act. This is a cause for anxiety.

As you get older, masturbation is important as a sexual release. The quicker this release can be achieved, the less chance there is of being caught. This may result in the development or a mindset of rapid ejaculation that is difficult to change. Unfortunately, this mindset may cause rapid ejaculation at the first opportunity for intercourse. We are not prepared or trained in controlling ejaculation.

These exercises should be practiced two to three times a week. If you don’t have the privacy you need, the bath or the shower may be the best option. While performing these exercises, don’t fantasize and don’t use erotic magazines or videos. The basic idea is to keep a good firm erection for 5 to 10 minutes without ejaculating. Here are the steps:

  1. Start by masturbating slower than usual.
  2. While masturbating, focus on the sexual sensations that you are getting and concentrate on the sensations in your penis as your sexual arousal increases.
  3. If your excitement level rises close to the point of no return that is ejaculation is about to blow, STOP.
  4. Rest for a few seconds and let the excitement level fall again.
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Penis Health

Penis Treatment

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

Treatment and Side Effects

If you want Strong Erection through penis injection therapy, penis vacuum device, penis implant or Viagra.

Read about the Negative Effect before you hit it.

Having a sustained erection that remains can be compared to walking around barefoot. At first, when walking barefoot you feels everything under your feet–rough stones, prickly branches, crispy dried leaves. After a while, your feet become desensitized and you don’t notice the discomfort. The same is true with a sustained erection. The penis becomes desensitized and will not over react to stimuli as it has in the past.

Vacuum device

The device consists of a clear plastic tube that fits over the penis and is attached to a pump. The pump creates a vacuum, drawing blood to the penis. A rubber ring is placed around the base of the penis maintains the erection for half an hour. The drawback? The pain that occurs when ejaculating with a tight rubber band around the base of your penis will stop your premature ejaculation. It will probably stop you from wanting to ejaculate at all. However, this is not a recommended approach to the problem.

Injection therapy

This treatment used in most clinics achieved a good rate of success. The part involves producing a sustained erection that remains strong and erect for 30 minutes or more. This erection should be strong enough to be sustained even after ejaculation. This will be achieved by the use of intrepenile injection therapy.

However, it carried certain risk that when injected the medicine such as papaverine or prostaglandin E, the inflow of blood is maintained and low pressure outflow of blood is obstructed in the penis. This result in erection lasting for 6 hours or more. The other risk is displacement of tissue within the penis and formation of scar tissue. Patients were also warned of side effects like pain when injecting and bruising of the penis. One should try to avoid hitting the blood vessels though bruising will go away in a few days. Hypotension, if the user requires large dose of medication into the penis that may cause light headedness (due to a drop in blood pressure).

If the patient uses this therapy for a long period, a formation of small nodules may develop at the injection site. (Most patients find that the penis feels comfort injecting at the same spot). By piercing the penis via the undersurface urethra, spots of blood may appear at the gland. Correct injecting measures have to be done carefully. Patient should practice personal hygiene before administrating the medicine. Proper washing and cleaning, using new syringe and needles each time can prevent unnecessary infection.

Penis implant

This is the oldest treatment in modern medicine so far. An implanted device is surgically inserted into the penile to enable an erection. The device with inflatable cylinders (like an elongated balloon) runs along the penis has a tube connected to a reservoir containing fluid in the abdomen. All one had to do is manually squeeze the pump in the scrotum to allow the fluid to flow to the cylinders, hence erecting the penis magnificently. Another device is inserting semi-rigid rods into the penis but the erection is permanent! Unless, there is no other alternative to help you, penis implant might be your last straw. Here are some criteria specify for penis implant:

  1. that you should be below the age of 40 years old
  2. should have erectile dysfunction condition due to poor arterial inflow of blood (usually caused by accident).
  3. have no vascular problems.

Viagra

The popular prescribe oral medications that bring on an erection in less than an hour. There has been dispute if it should be called as a treatment. The blue pill definitely made a man’s job easy but after the medication or drug subsides, he cannot erect by himself. For many it works but some it did not, and there are 30 per cent of the pills takers find it not helpful for them even after 8 tries on the pill.

Many older male thought the pill can increase their libido and hard rock erections, unfortunately it does not. It simply restores the erection if he desires to. Viagra has also been tried to combat premature ejaculation and in so far it has not proven successful for this condition. In many countries where the drug is easily available, is abused by young party male. These young pill takers usually do not have erectile problem. They took it because their body and penis are ‘puncture’ by the excessive alcohol intake and they can’t get an erection after that. Unknowingly to them, they might become dependent on Viagra and that’s sad.

Before popping the blue pill down, one should know some side effect it will bring, otherwise check with your doctor. Common side effects are: headaches, red flushes around the face, neck and chest, diarrhea, nausea, blur vision and increasing pulse beat due to the powerful blood pump in the arteries. There were some cases leading to death. Here are some checks you could do prior to taking the pill:

NOT recommended:

  1. If you have congestive heart failure or recent heart attack
  2. If you are on antibiotic drugs
  3. Suffer liver disease
  4. Have low blood pressure
  5. A recent history of stroke
  6. Retinal disorders of the eye (retinitis pigmentosa)
  7. Have high blood pressure that require three or more medication to control

When man gets older, having sex twice in one session becomes more difficult. Most men would assume that this is a matter of fatigue, you feel spent, or you’ve had enough. The reality is that getting an erection for a second time demands a lot of energy, not just physical energy but mental energy as well. This becomes an almost impossible task at the end of a long haul day. How do we achieve this feat?

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Penis Health

8 ways of Preventing Impotence!

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

Don’t take your erections or your potency for granted! Is the message men need to hear around their fortieth or fiftieth birthday. Some change was inevitable, but some men were experiencing too much change especially if they had it earlier. Learn to accept the fact that age does changes a lot of things including sex. Learn to be a better lover. If you aren’t getting erections, open your heart and talk to your partner, doctor, or someone who has gone through it. But that’s not the kind of thing men do. If so, why not take preventive measures before it approaches you?

Healthier lifestyles will most likely lead to healthier erections but any man can expect to lose an erection during lovemaking on occasion. If he doesn’t let that bother him, he’ll likely get it back. The worst thing you can do about a subsiding erection is focused on it.

There are always ways to improve the quality of your erections, extend penis longevity and minimize the possibilities of losing an erection during lovemaking by adopting the following suggestions:

  1. Healthy eating habits. Eat a low-fat diet and exercise regularly. Diet and exercise influence a man’s sexual desire and sexual performance.
  2. Stop or quit smoking. Smoking causes much vascular damage In the penis that could result in impotent. Long-term and heavy smokers have a greater probability of becoming impotent than do non-smokers. One recent study found that men who smoked a pack a day for 20 years had a 60 percent greater chance of becoming impotent than nonsmokers.
  3. Have frequent sex. The more you make love, the more you will be able to make love. Erectile tissue becomes less supple with age. Without frequent erections, there is no regular flow of blood into the penis. After several months or a year of not having an erection, a man may have difficulty in achieving one.
  4. Don’t make ejaculation your goal of lovemaking. Once you take the pressure to ejaculate out of lovemaking, you will probably have more frequent erections, sustain them longer, and enjoy the experience much more.
  5. Expand your ‘sex.’ There is more to making love than having intercourse, especially during midlife. A man is also more likely to have erection difficulties if his lovemaking style is intercourse-driven. The pressure to perform will be greater for him than for a man who enjoys satisfying his partner in a variety of ways. Don’t make love unless you want to.
  6. Share information with your partner. Explain your changing sexual response pattern to your partner. If intercourse has always ended in ejaculation until recently, she may think she has failed to excite you sufficiently. Let her know that your sexual patterns now more closely resemble hers. She has been able to enjoy intercourse without needing to reach an orgasm every time.
  7. Masturbation two or three times a week helps in achieving erections for older males. This method is in the combination of two techniques. By having a sustained erection, you can take your mind off your penis because you will know that you are capable of sustained erection even if you ejaculate. This will allow you to enjoy sex without worry.
  8. Don’t take medications if you don’t need them. Prescription drugs may produce negative effects on erections. If you keep your weight down and exercise regularly, you’re less likely to develop high blood pressure, mild depression, or other conditions requiring continuing use of medications. When a doctor prescribes a drug, ask about its sexual side effects, if an alternative drug might not have the same side effects, and whether or not a lifestyle change would enable you to go off medication as soon as possible.
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Penis Health

Penis Erection

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

Restore Sex

4 steps to Restore Man Sexual Function:

Step 1.

If you lose your erection during intercourse, just let it go. Then tried something different like performing cunnilingus on your partner. You may get hard again or even if you don’t, you have satisfied your partner, which makes a man feel good too.

Step 2.

Concentrate on pleasing your partner. Perform cunnilingus when erection falters, is a good one. When a man forgets his own perceived “problem” and concentrates on giving his partner pleasure, he relieves his performance anxiety. He creates a win-win situation. Maybe he will get his erection back, but even if he doesn’t, he will feel good about himself as a lover.

Step 3.

Use a partial erection to good advantage. When you feel the erection subsiding during intercourse, pull out your penis, take penis in hand, and get creative. Grasp penis firmly but not choking, start to stimulate your partner’s clitoris with the head, brushing it back and forth, often bring her to orgasm this way. Use the head of your penis to stroke her inner thighs or her nipples. You could get really hard at the same time. This way both you and your partner can enjoy penis play

Some men can also have intercourse with a partial erection by holding the base of the penis firmly as they thrust. You don’t need a full erection to make love with your penis. Experiment with ways of stimulating your partner with the erection you have.

Step 4.

Don’t blame your partner. In hurt pride following an erectile failure, a man might lash out at his partner, accusing her of failing to arouse him sufficiently. Don’t do that as not only will you hurt her and invite a defensive assault, you’ll only feel worse about yourself later. Once a couple have started a cycle of blaming, they’ll find it hard to break free and move to a place of acceptance and understanding. Let down the barriers and share your fears and concerns with her, without blaming her or yourself.

Some men find it more difficult to talk about their erection problems than their emotions. For them, a savvy and understanding woman can make the difference between an impotent future and a transition into another, less erection based kind of lovemaking.

Woman can Help Man Gain His Erection

While men are concern, you will be surprise our partner, women, are more obsess than men do. Here’s how women can help and participate together in gaining erection for her man.

Let It Go.

As just mentioned, if your man loses an erection during lovemaking, let it go. Unless he requests or indicates by his behavior that he wants you to perform fellatio or manually stimulate his penis to try to bring the erection back–don’t. Focusing on his limp penis probably won’t help and may hurt by intensifying his performance anxiety.

Love him.

Hold him. Kiss and stroke him, but ignore his penis. You don’t have to prove your desirability by bringing his penis back to erotic life.

Ask for oral sex or manual stimulation yourself.

That will take the focus off his penis and give him the opportunity to feel like a good lover. Be responsive to his ministrations. A woman’s arousal is very arousing to a man. It’s possible that he’ll regain his erection by losing himself in your excitement.

Don’t be solicitous.

Show your understanding by not fussing over him. If he’s feeling inadequate, don’t tell him his lack of erection isn’t important. A man who has been sexually humiliated doesn’t want his wife saying, “Don’t worry, darling, it doesn’t matter.”

Don’t blame yourself.

And don’t let him blame you. His erection problem may be physical or psychological. Even if it’s rooted in relationship conflict, you are not the “cause” of the problem. Sex is a cooperative effort. So is relating. After an erectile failure, however, is not the right time to analyze the relationship.

Regain sexual desire lost to illness, disability, aging.

Some men and couples will stop making love in response to these situations. As illness can cause the sufferer to withdraw oneself away, if you are the healthy one, do not take your partner’s withdrawal as personal rejection. Reach out and coax him back to you.

Give your partner and yourself a sensual treat everyday.

Take time to walk in the park and smell the flowers with him. Cook his favorite meal or filled your bedroom with soft music, silk pillow, crisp cotton bed sheets.

Categories
Penis Health

Multiple orgasm for men

Impotence, intercourse position, sexual function, sexual intercourse, sexual pleasure, erectile dysfunction, orgasm, ejaculation, penis treatment, Female, Top, Position, Female Position

MIDLIFE ORGASM FOR MEN

It was mentioned earlier that a mature male will experience better ejaculation control as compared to his younger peers. As a man-aged, his orgasm is much more intense, deep and rich. His midlife orgasm is triggered by intense physical and psychological stimulation that may last for about 20 seconds. Do not think that a few seconds is too little. The effect can be electrifying.

Orgasm Promote Health

Just when you thought it’s only “Hugh and Oomph”, orgasm for the matured and elder age group actually does well for health. You will be surprise that orgasm promote conditioning on the cardiovascular, glowing skin, tone up the body generally. In addition, orgasm will trigger the release of chemical in the brain that could relieve headache and some minor pain or ache. An intense orgasm is a whole body event even your fingers and toes could feel it; do you realize you clutches your fist and locked your toes, and some parts of your body were some what intensified when you “cum”?

How men can Achieve Multiple Orgasm

Did you also know that orgasm at midlife can be extended and multiple? During midlife, the refractory period maybe 24 hours while the older men takes a few days. You will be thinking; if this is so, how are there multiple orgasm possible?

The refractory period is the time following ejaculation before a man can have another erection, does increase with age. In young and virile men, the refractory period is about 24 hours but for older male, it can last days in a man who is in his seventies or older. By midlife, the refractory period may be as long as 24 hours. How are multiple orgasms possible under these circumstances?

According to clinical researches, male orgasm and ejaculation is the same thing. Multiple orgasms are rare in men. But in Eastern belief, male orgasm, like female, is a psycho-sexual event that typically includes ejaculation, but not always. In other words, orgasm, the pleasurable sensations of the rhythmic contractions and ejaculation, and the release of semen are separate events. To this view of male sexuality, men can say that experience multiple orgasms and are far more likely to do so at midlife when they have greater control of the ejaculatory process and are able to differentiate between orgasm and ejaculation.

A doctor from the Institute for Advanced Study of Sexuality in San Francisco often credited the concept of male multiple orgasms through his workshops and the national media attention they garnered. They discovered a man has his own multiple orgasm capability at midlife and quite by accident. They have accidentally discovered the difference between ejaculation and orgasm. When one of their doctors had a vasectomy, he has to ejaculate himself for a sperm count test. Discovered, after 15 minutes of “the most unsensational masturbation” of his life, he produced the required sample. As he was walking back to his station, he thought to himself, that was a non-orgasmic ejaculation. This led him to study the Eastern erotic arts. The following techniques were tried and adapted from those exotic sources.

Master the Art of Male Orgasm without ejaculation Separates men from boys:

  1. Finger Draw.
    Practiced in China for as long as five thousand years, is a simple technique. According to eastern practitioners, it is an effective method for inducing multiple orgasms. Similar to the perineum massage, the finger draw uses three curved fingers to apply pressure to one spot on the perineum, rather than the whole area, at the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Locate the pressure point at mid perineum, area between the anus and the scrotum. Use three slightly curved fingers to apply pressure, not too light and not too hard, to the perineum point as soon as you feel ejaculation is imminent. Repeat as often as necessary until you can experience a non ejaculatory orgasm.
    Some practitioners recommend practicing during masturbation because it’s not easy to find the right spot. When you find the spot, don’t expect a miracle to happen instantly. This takes time and patience. Was it worth the trouble, you may asked? It is worth once you had it. Sometime multiple orgasms and sometime single orgasm both without ejaculation. Either way, it makes you ready for lovemaking again sooner after you have ejaculate. You partner will love it.
  2. The Pull Back.
    Some men train themselves to experience orgasm without ejaculation fairly easily using the art of brinkmanship by pulling back at the last possible second before ejaculation. Practice this while masturbating. Continue stimulation to the point of imminent orgasm. Then stop. Don’t resume stimulation until your arousal level has declined. Repeat as often as possible. With regular practice, you should be able experience the contractions of orgasmic release without ejaculating.
    It was something similar to avoid ejaculating inside a girl so as not to make her pregnant. During youth, man had little control in ejaculation. The message doesn’t make it to the brain in time for the body to react. As a man mature, there is exquisite control. One can learn to use this technique to prolong, increase, and multiply my orgasms. I really believe any man can do it. The only thing stopping most men is ignorance.
  3. Big Draw Technique.
    First of all, you got to have strong pelvic muscles. To achieve that one can practice kegel exercises regularly. When you feel ejaculation is imminent, stop thrusting the penis. Pull back to approximately one inch of penetration but do not withdraw the penis entirely. Flex the pelvic muscle and hold to a count of nine. Alternately, flex the pelvic muscle nine times in rapid succession instead of holding the count. Resume thrusting shallowly and repeat as often as necessary until you experience a non ejaculatory orgasm.
    It will take several months to develop strong pelvic muscles and make the big draw work for you. But it is worth investing your time.
  4. The Valley Orgasm.
    According to the eastern practitioners, male orgasm with ejaculation is one fleeting moment of intense and even excruciating pleasure. On the other hand, the valley orgasm without ejaculation is a continual rolling expansion of the orgasm, a greatly heightened ecstasy. Men who experience the valley orgasm feel like a rolling series of orgasms without ejaculation. Here’s how to experience one:
    First, make love using the nine shallow, one deep method. Stop thrusting when you feel near orgasm. Use the big draw or the three-finger draw or your pelvic muscles to delay ejaculation. Hold and embrace your partner closely and comfortably. Continue shallow thrusting.Each time you feel ejaculation is imminent, use the big draw. You will experience the sensations of orgasm, though more diffuse, without ejaculation.

How to have an Orgasm Without Genital Contact.

An orgasm achieved with no genital contact is an extra genital orgasm. Fewer than 10 percent of women or men can reach orgasm simply from kissing passionately or by having their breasts or nipples kissed or sucked, their thighs caressed or licked, or their ears or neck nuzzled. How can it be done? Women and men who experience extra genital orgasms are able to excite themselves through erotic thoughts and fantasies to the point where any form of physical stimulation sends them over the edge into orgasm. In men, the phenomenon most frequently occurs in the “wet dream,” a nocturnal orgasm and ejaculation following an erotic dream.

Caress or have your partner caress your penis and testis until you are on the verge of another orgasm. Switch the stimulation to a non genital area such as abdomen, groin or inner thighs. Alternate from genital to non genital, stimuli until you are so close to orgasm that a simple touch like running a finger down the inner thigh could induce it.

How to have a Spontaneous Orgasm.

The ultimate no-hands solitary sex experience, a spontaneous orgasm occurs with no physical stimulation at all. How do to do it?

First, relax. Take a warm bath, have a glass of wine, put on some light music, light aromatic candles, create a lush, passionate, and emotional sexual fantasy. Breathe and lay on your back, knees bent, feet spaced well apart, take deep breaths. Pull your breath down into your body so deeply you can feel your diaphragm expanding and can imagine air going all the way down to your genitals. Slowly you breathe out. Pull that air all the way out, again imagining you are drawing it up through your genitals into your body.

After a dozen or so deep breaths, pant. Breathe rapidly from your belly with your mouth open. Now use the fire breathing technique. Begin with relaxing shallow breaths. Then breathe deeply and inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Make the breathing continuous or circular. Imagine a circle of fire beginning first as a small circle, nose through mouth, then expanding to include chest, belly, and finally the genitals. Feel the erotic heat moving in a circle throughout your body as you breathe.

Flex the pelvic muscles alone or in combination with breathing. Coordinate your flexing with deep breathing. Switch to panting, and then back to deep breathing, finally to fire breathing all the while flexing the muscles. If you don’t have an orgasm this way, don’t despair. Most won’t. But use the technique during masturbation or intercourse and feel how much stronger your orgasm is.

How to have a Whole Body Orgasm.

The whole body orgasm occurs when you are feeling particularly sensual, sexual, or both. For most, the experience is a complex blend of emotional, sensual, and sexual elements. It is possible in midlife than earlier. If you want to experience one, try this:

  1. Practice the techniques for extending orgasm until you are able to do so.
  2. Practice the techniques for spontaneous orgasm until you are aroused almost to the point of orgasm through fantasy and breathing alone.
  3. Practice the techniques for multiple orgasms until you are able either to have them or, to continue a state of arousal past orgasm. Combine the skills you’ve mastered in a lovemaking session with your partner when you are feeling very emotionally connected. If you do not experience a whole body orgasm, you will almost undoubtedly have a wonderful time together.

The point of this mastery is to encourage you to expand your orgasmic potential, not set orgasm goals or measure your performance against any other men. The exercises are worth doing, whether they result in extended, whole-body, extra genital or multiple orgasms, or not. They will improve the quality and perhaps the quantity of the orgasms you’re having now. In turn, it will give you physical, psychological, and emotional benefits as well as help strengthen the intimacy bond with your partner. Some couples believe that the ultimate expression of sexual intimacy is the simultaneous orgasm.